International Women's Day

and development, to be exact.


As Kofi Annan said, gender equality is the key to development. All NGOs have a gender angle and most projects on the ground will have women's empowerment as a key aim. This is fabulous, and I've seen it for myself. Women who have been previously silenced, ignored, abused or redundant have been given the opportunities and the tools to be part of bettering their communities and building a better future. They have been given pride, escape and healing and this will have an immeasurable impact on the hopes of future generations.


But the more I see, hear and read about conflict zones; regions that have suffered traumatic events and great loss through violence or natural disasters, I start to wonder about the men... I wonder if working with women is an easier, more natural task? You get them together, bond them as a sisterhood, encourage their communication and help them to deal with feelings. You give them skills they have never had and for the first time they have become someone.


For men who have suffered through war, been victims of regimes and themselves been damaged the solution seems less clear. There are swathes of men who are angry and broken, had their purpose, dignity and pride taken from them. They might come from tribal, patriarchial communities whose women are now rising up. I don't think support groups, counselling sessions and sewing lessons would do much for these men.


Of course, I'm not suggesting that development work is all female-centric. Work with youth and whole communties of both genders goes on and is bringing great transformation. But I worry about the angry men. What do we do for them to be part of breaking the cycles of domestic violence, rape and crime?


Thursdays in Black is staunchly about gender equality, and women's rights form just one part - albeit a very big one. But if we don't stand alongside the hurting men we are only tackling half of the problem.


On a final note, bringing my thoughts back to International Women's Day today, I want to celebrate the men who fight for gender equality. Those who courageously and counter-culturally work to improve the lives of women and challenge communities to move towards equality. I believe that these men are not only incredible, but key in reaching the masses of men who need healing and hope, setting a powerful example and putting their necks on the line!



So here's to the men who stand with the women. And to all who have fought and spoken out for the last 100 years.

International Women's Day

is today, so I've been blogging on http://thursdaysinblack.blogspot.com/

:)

A Note to Men

by Richard McAdam, written for Thursdays in Black and borrowed here because I thought it was quite good.

Gentlemen.

Is for you the word 'feminism' burdened with negative connotations? Does it foster in your manly breast prejudice and resentment, and elicit little more from you than a cocky rolling of the eyes and the arching of an insouciant brow? Does it conjure up images of angry, shrill lesbians daring to express outrage at invisible injustices? Then let me, as one man to another, prescribe the following course of action: through rigorous self-examination, self-education and self-flagellation, you resolve to STOP BEING AN IDIOT, and with the aid of some sort of neuro-linguistic programming adopt a deep and irrefutable notion that the above reactions to the f-word are clear and present symptoms of your BEING AN IDIOT. YOU IDIOT.

What this does not mean: adopting 'feminist' views as a means-to-an-end, paying lip service in order to get some 'lip service' ifyouknowwhatImean. (I mean kissing). It does not mean merely affecting outrage at the objectification or oppression of women when you are not possessed of any true and tangible notion of what that actually means, on any real and visceral level. It does not mean insisting on workplace equality and settling for that as being the only kind of equality that is important. It does NOT mean spouting hollow homilies on the strength and individuality of women or the beauty of the female form whilst at the same time clinging to an idea of them as possessions, convenient accessories for your ego. Don't kid yourself that the men who inflict the horrific physical and emotional violence in the stories from distant lands are some sort of different species, 'monsters' completely alien to your idea of yourself. We might not all necessarily be nurturing the capacity for that sort of cruelty; but that sort of cruelty has been born of these sorts of attitudes.

Why does it not mean these things? Because, ultimately, it's you, as a man, being oppressed; it's you, as a man, suffering the inequality and the prejudice. Not as a result of some numinous notion of human 'togetherness', but because this attitude directly diminishes you. You are a victim of your own discrimination, because what you excise when you decide that you will view women as anything other than equal is a fundamental function of your self. And no, you are not destroying your 'feminine spirit' – you are destroying your 'masculine spirit'. You just need to adjust your idea of what 'masculine' means.

Let me offer you up a contemporary role model: the motion-picture actor Ryan Gosling. Here at Mr. Hugo Schwyzer's blog (a site I'd recommend you delve deep into as part of your self-education), Mr. Schwyzer suggests Mr. Gosling's characterisations as presenting 'a new kind of masculine ideal', because 'he plays flawed and complex men whose tender decency is always at war with his compulsions and his rage,' and not 'overgrown boys'.

The skills needed to fight that war, and to achieve the goals of altering/enhancing/maintain your attitudes toward women are conveniently concomitant with the skills required to be fulfilled and happy. (Or the act of striving to cultivate those skills is in itself fulfillment and happiness, probably, or something.) They are the skills that will, ultimately, make the world a better place. Responsibility, kindness, maturity, and a balance of stoicism and sensitivity. These shall be your goals and your rewards.

Also, girls will like you more, you idiots.

The black thing again

When I visited Christian Aid projects in India I met some of the most fearsome women imaginable! These were women who had been empowered to fight for their rights, stand up to corruption and tackle the culture of inequality that keeps women oppressed.

I had the privilege of meeting staff of women’s organisations that were focussed on helping women out of dangerous situations and offering education and support to girls to provide them with the many opportunities they deserve.

On one particular day I sat in a tiny room with an interpreter and one by one, men, women, parents and children told me of their experiences. Some, like Gina, had saved their mothers from neglect. Others like Reema, had been forced into marriage at the age of 13 and been abused and denied education. Others like Ramesh, watched their daughter become trapped in a vicious cycle of domestic violence. I heard some appalling stories that day. I cried with parents as they asked me to make sure it doesn’t happed to anyone else’s children. I got angry with the staff who are fearlessly tackling the corruption and culture that means that most of these atrocities are swept under the carpet.

I came back from India changed and a bit broken. Yet I have a confession… I knew that unless I made an effort, everything I felt in India would fade as I readjusted to my comfortable life. I decided I wanted to stay a bit broken, so I joined the growing movement of people who wear black on Thursdays as a peaceful protest and a symbol of solidarity with all those fighting and affected by gender based inequality and violence. I’ve not missed a Thursday yet, and it has connected me with those who showed me just how uncomfortable I should feel with the way the world is for far too many people.

Wear black tomorrow to stand in solidarity

I’ve had the privilege of meeting some incredible people around the world, particularly in India and Uganda who have become the inspiration for an idea called Thursdays in Black. Gender inequality is one of the key factors hindering the eradication of poverty and there are people working in this area across the world who wear black on a Thursday as a personal protest and stand of solidarity, and I wanted to be one of them. This idea grew into an initiative which is fast becoming a movement of people from all backgrounds wanting to stand with those affected by injustice and effectively bringing about change to the structures and systems which favour some over others on the basis of gender.
I want to put the conversation on the table – the world is unfair. Men and women can work together to end the inequality between them, and then we can start to end poverty.

I don’t think it’s enough to have a campaign message though. Any campaign with such high hopes has to be shot through with integrity. That’s why for Thursdays in Black it’s as much about our ethos as it is about the message.
We want to stand out not just because of the cause but because of the way we operate – we will be ethical, transparent, eco friendly and deliberately un-glossy.

I probably sound a bit idealistic – I am. I have to be… the world needs some ideals to live up to, an un-cynical dream to grasp, and I just thought it was worth giving it a go.
We will be outspoken for the sake of those who are silenced. We will be outraged alongside those who are oppressed. We will be different because it’s about time.
Only with these high standards can we begin to be effective and most importantly be true to those inspiring women we represent.

The longest assembly

... and notice that despite being in 30 degree heat, I still wore black. That's commitment (and stupidity) for you.

Why I'm wearing black today

Let's get this straight, I'm not a militant man hating fembot, honestly. I do however believe in people's right to do more than scrape by, to be treated with respect and to be free. I believe in choice, joy and life in all its fullness. I know that discrimination on the basis of gender is wrong, and that violence and oppression do not belong in this world.

It's hot today, and wearing black certainly isn't comfortable. I'll leave you to make your own link on that one...

I wear black so that I don't forget the stories I have heard, the people I've cried with and those fighting for justice despite the challenges. In itself, this statement won't change the world. Together maybe we'll raise a few eyebrows and engage with a certain audience. Maybe we ourselves will be be changed a little as we feel the weight of solidarity on our shoulders.

But put simply, I wear black because I must do something. I cannot be silent, I cannot shake from my mind what I know, I cannot go back to ignorant bliss.

I will be uncomfortable today, and every other Thursday and if I'm really lucky - every day I live until this world changes. Like so many people, I have no choice but to fight.

More than a fashion choice

Across the UK, people from all walks of life will make a stand against gender-based discrimination and violence worldwide simply by choosing to wear black on Thursday 25^th June.

Of the 1.3 billion people living in poverty around the world, 70% are women

Ever since I visited India last year to meet partner organisations and beneficiaries of the work of Christian Aid, I have worn black on Thursdays along with the thousands of people – men and women – across the world who want to stand alongside those who have suffered from gender-based violence or injustice and those who are fighting for a fairer world for all.

Women do two-thirds of the world’s work and get paid less than 10% of its income

Now we are launching a Thursday in Black day encouraging everyone who wants to be part of this solidarity movement simply to wear black on Thursday 25^th June 2009.

More than half of women in the world over the age of 15 cannot read or write

If you want to take it further you can join the movement by visiting www.thursdaysinblack.ning.com , joining our Facebook group, following us on Twitter or just by commenting on my blog!

Violence causes more death and disability worldwide amongst women

aged 15 – 44 than war, cancer, malaria or traffic accidents.

If you want to give money to Christian Aid who are working around the world for justice and equality you can donate using our ‘Living Costs’ card as a help, available by emailing me or from the Facebook and ning sites.

‘Gender equality is critical to the development and peace of every nation.’ (Kofi Annan)

Thursdays in Black is an international campaign that has historically united people who believe in the fundamental importance of respecting all human life without discrimination. As a human rights campaign, it was started by the World Council of Churches during the 1980s as a peaceful protest against rape and violence - the by-products of war and conflict. The campaign today focuses on ways that individuals can challenge attitudes that cause discrimination, inequality and violence.

Please spread the word, make a stand against a world that will allow the human rights of women to be abused and threatened, and become part of a worldwide movement which enables outrage - and love - to be transformed into action.