I should be cleaning the house...

... as it's Christmas eve tomorrow and don't want to come back from seeing family to a mucky home. And yet, I'm sitting writing emails and watching TV while feeling a bit sleepy.

I have to confess that beyond practical arrangements, family logistics and some impressive forward planning in the present department, I've let Christmas go over my head a little.
Is it just me, or is it that because Christmas happens on a regular basis and is just one of those things you know about, it never really occurs to give it a fresh look instead focusing on the messages of hope, peace and new beginnings. Bit of a cop out?


This year has been a time of honesty and the beginning of an awakening for me. I'm tired, and I want to curl up and eat too much. I could try and focus on all of the lovely themes of Christmas, but the way I'm feeling now means I really don't think it would be all that authentic. The choice is this: coast for another Christmas and survive out the year, or rid myself of any falseness and decide to be deliberate in all I do... and feel.

Christmas is also about light shining in a dark world. I think I'll try my best to have a mental tidy up over the next few days, shine a light into the dark areas of my mind, take a fresh look at this Christmas lark and come back to a new start. I'm going to go and clean the house too.

Merry Christmas x