Gethsemane

As I've been planning for Easter activities in town with the churches I've pondered long and hard about all this suffering stuff.  It seems to me that our culture massively celebrates 'strength' in terms of holding it together, not letting things get to you, being a positive person... I guess that means that weakness is falling apart, feeling deeply and sensitively and allowing negativity to have a voice.  However, I have a theory;

It is not despair that makes us weak.  It is denial.

I find Jesus to be a pretty good example (maybe not fashion wise) of how our true humanity can be realised and without wishing to boast, it would appear he backs me up on this.

It was recorded that the night he was arrested, Jesus took his friends to a garden and popped off by himself to have a good rant at God. He was honest and upset, he was scared and he prayed hard for things to be different.

Interestingly Jesus then went back to his pals, and presumably for someone to have written it down Jesus must have told them what he was feeling.

It's sensible to know when and where to let it all out - screaming your heart out in public isn't always a great idea.  Neither is making everything about you and your problems - far from it.  But letting people close to you know where you're at can only be a good thing.  It's vulnerable, and its real.  It gives others a chance to hold you and you some perspective.  Here healing is found.

For me this idea that strength is putting on a good front is nonsense, and it tells people like me that we're weak losers.  We. Are. Not.  It is courageous to let the right people in.  It takes immense bravery to be proactive in overcoming the clouds.  It takes all the strength in the world to nurture hope.

I'm not writing this and patting myself on the back.  But I am going to stop telling myself I'm rubbish when I break down, when I fall apart.  It's in my human nature to be that way.  I'm strong enough to admit it.