Burn Out

I had a revelation this week.  I'm not sure if my conclusions will stick, be controversial, prompt some responses - I hope they do.  I'm thinking out loud (yet silently, oh how profound) and would love to hear what ideas other people have on this here subject.  Here goes:

It is all too common for people in all sorts of sectors to over work.  I know from my experience in ministry and the charity sector that there's a certain badge of honour attached to pushing yourself.  No one says it, but we all want to be one of those people seen to be earning our way and going the extra mile.  Some of us do thrive under pressure and like the whirlwind of busy-ness.  But there is a sort of martyrdom to it all, and it inevitably leads to burn out or break down.

Mabel recharging.

For me, some of the reasons I pushed myself so hard in the past include:

- fear that I wasn't good enough
- fear that I would be judged for not doing enough
- fear that I would let people down
- fear that I wouldn't be respected
- fear that I had nothing else to fill the time
- fear that I wouldn't be as good as everyone else

Hmmm.  I also liked my job, loved the work and enjoyed myself.  Mostly.  I like to be seen as a 'busy person', I thought that showed my value.  My ego loved it when people admired how I 'fit it all in' or 'kept going'.

Until I stopped keeping on going.  And as I picked myself up knowing I had to change something I lost sight of who I was outside of what I did.

So as I've grown up a bit I've tried to learn some new habits, but I've struggled to know when to go the extra mile and when to stay within strict boundaries.  I mean, giving your all  is a good thing, right?

I think, that there is a difference between going the extra mile and over doing it.

One is selfish, the other is selfless.

I wonder if there's a checklist that might be useful (lists, love 'em), something like this:

- Am I doing extra because I have to earn something
- Am I doing more because I feel passionately I can offer something
- Am I giving more because I don't want someone else to do it
- Am I giving extra because someone needs me to help

... and so on.  Sacrifice is biblical.  Earning your worth or feeding your ego is not.

I think that putting others first can be something that sustains us, as long as we let others serve us too and value ourselves.  So, go the extra mile but make sure you've got the right shoes on.

Thoughts?