I should be cleaning the house...

... as it's Christmas eve tomorrow and don't want to come back from seeing family to a mucky home. And yet, I'm sitting writing emails and watching TV while feeling a bit sleepy.

I have to confess that beyond practical arrangements, family logistics and some impressive forward planning in the present department, I've let Christmas go over my head a little.
Is it just me, or is it that because Christmas happens on a regular basis and is just one of those things you know about, it never really occurs to give it a fresh look instead focusing on the messages of hope, peace and new beginnings. Bit of a cop out?


This year has been a time of honesty and the beginning of an awakening for me. I'm tired, and I want to curl up and eat too much. I could try and focus on all of the lovely themes of Christmas, but the way I'm feeling now means I really don't think it would be all that authentic. The choice is this: coast for another Christmas and survive out the year, or rid myself of any falseness and decide to be deliberate in all I do... and feel.

Christmas is also about light shining in a dark world. I think I'll try my best to have a mental tidy up over the next few days, shine a light into the dark areas of my mind, take a fresh look at this Christmas lark and come back to a new start. I'm going to go and clean the house too.

Merry Christmas x

When I grow up

It's funny how there are occasional themes to a week.

At a Nightchurch meeting last week we shared in an exercise from Brian McClaren's book 'Finding Our Way Again'. The idea is simple, in the context of thinking about your character - fill in this sentence for 1) a day ago 2) a year ago and 3) ten years ago;
'I am more ..... than [time frame] and less .....'

Next, what would you like your character to be in ten years?

Finally, what kind of trajectory are you on, and what can you do to make sure you're on the way to being who you want to be?

I decided I want to be confident in ten years, and to get there I need to not let my insecurities hold me back. This sparked a conversation about what confidence truly is and whether that's what I meant... but that's for another time.

At a work team meeting yesterday we reflected on the stages of life and which characteristics infancy, adolescence and adulthood all have. The final question was 'what do you want to be when you grow up?'

My answer was 'effective, I want to change the world and be effective in what ever part I have to play.'

There was a moment of quiet and I thought back to the theme that had emerged over these seven days. I realised I'd not given the most real answers and a far more honest one kept popping into my head.

When I grow up, I want to be whole.

What's my trajectory to that?! What can I do to help me achieve it!? I'm not sure I even know what it really means... but it seems like a destination worth journeying towards.

I'll keep you posted.

When your body says no more...

... it gives in to a cold.

I'm not the type of person who takes time off work with a cold, but I am very empathetic when others have one because the fuzzy yukkiness of a cold is truly awful! I have a mild cold right now, mainly through exhaustion but now I come to think of it I've been surrounded by ailing folk for weeks now so I suppose the inevitable has simply hit.

Something as inconsequential as a cold can really take the wind out of you - you suddenly wonder how you ever took breathing through your nose for granted or if it's always been so hard to listen to people talking to you... you ponder if you'll ever taste again or how if you'll live your life feeling like your head weighs the same as a house. It's all a bit pathetic really.

But actually, not at all long after a cold has cleared, you've forgotten it was even there and everything is 'normal' again. Hurrah.






It's been over 3 months since I returned from Uganda.

I run a campaign based on my experiences in India which encourages a symbolic act as a reminder of the state of the world.

I just went to the fridge and whinged I had no food.

Right.

It's easy to rant about the world (particularly when it's a big part of your job), it's even easy to really mean it when you do. But taking the attitude and making it stick, taking the pledge to be counter-cultural and letting it seep into your lifestyle, not feeling sorry for yourself when you have a lapse of perspective... that takes time, and will power.

So keep me in check please.

A Quote

"Christian Aid is not a colonial arm of the church, saying "We have the resources and we'll export them". Rather it says, "We believe the Holy Spirit has given gifts and sensitivities to all people and we will enable [them] to improve the life of their own nations"
John L Bell, The Iona Community

That ending poverty thing

If you look at the word ‘poverty’, you may notice something within it if you look really closely? There in the middle is the word over. This is the focal point of the new Christian Aid campaign, - poverty over. It came about when a secular marketing agency looked at everything we produced and all of our hopes and dreams, and came back to us simply saying – you believe in ending poverty don’t you? Well then that’s all you need to say. No gimmicks, no gloss. They effectively took us at our word.
It’s a brave thing to do – we really have risked being a laughing stock; no bases covered, no plan B, no excuses.
But when you consider it, human history is made up of instances where massive social change has occurred because of a determination to act. The ending of slavery, the collapsing of apartheid, and the eradication of smallpox within a decade are all examples. The scandal of poverty must be added to that list. The world has more wealth, more knowledge, greater interconnections and a greater capability to do so than at any other time in human history.
We are not calling for marginal improvements on what has gone before, instead fundamental changes in the global, national and local structures that create poverty are needed.

Christian Aid’s determination to end poverty is driven by the belief that the work of building the Kingdom of God is continued by his followers today. So, the church surely has a key part to play in all of this. Are we ready to really act with determination, regardless of what others say? Are we ready to take the gospel and put it into action? Are we ready to be taken at our word?

Wear black tomorrow to stand in solidarity

I’ve had the privilege of meeting some incredible people around the world, particularly in India and Uganda who have become the inspiration for an idea called Thursdays in Black. Gender inequality is one of the key factors hindering the eradication of poverty and there are people working in this area across the world who wear black on a Thursday as a personal protest and stand of solidarity, and I wanted to be one of them. This idea grew into an initiative which is fast becoming a movement of people from all backgrounds wanting to stand with those affected by injustice and effectively bringing about change to the structures and systems which favour some over others on the basis of gender.
I want to put the conversation on the table – the world is unfair. Men and women can work together to end the inequality between them, and then we can start to end poverty.

I don’t think it’s enough to have a campaign message though. Any campaign with such high hopes has to be shot through with integrity. That’s why for Thursdays in Black it’s as much about our ethos as it is about the message.
We want to stand out not just because of the cause but because of the way we operate – we will be ethical, transparent, eco friendly and deliberately un-glossy.

I probably sound a bit idealistic – I am. I have to be… the world needs some ideals to live up to, an un-cynical dream to grasp, and I just thought it was worth giving it a go.
We will be outspoken for the sake of those who are silenced. We will be outraged alongside those who are oppressed. We will be different because it’s about time.
Only with these high standards can we begin to be effective and most importantly be true to those inspiring women we represent.

I don't want to be able to email from my phone.

I upgraded my mobile phone recently and realised that I may be older than my years when I said ‘I just want something that calls people and sends texts’. The only ones available to me were all singing all dancing internet accessing music playing calendar diary voice recognition wide screen touch pad gadgets. For the same price I had the choice between a very basic phone which indeed just made calls and texts and was very similar to the one I had nearly ten years ago… or one of the fancier models which quite honestly just looked nicer. I was sucked in by the sexy mini computer phone… and now I can’t work out how to use it.

Technology has changed the way we communicate, work, study and worship. I can see via Facebook what nearly 500 people I’ve met at some point are doing and feeling without even talking to them. Teenagers in Uganda gave me their email and mobile phone numbers to stay in touch when they’d saved up enough shillings for a slot at the town’s internet café. It’s safe to say the world has got a lot smaller, and yet a lot less personal. Can anything really replace face to face contact?

The changing landscape of communication and technology offers us some valuable opportunities to connect with a wider group of people, to be efficient and be creative in new ways. However some of the greatest human achievements have been realised when people stand face to face. We cannot forget, amongst the impersonal connections and faceless cyberworld that we are all created as unique, named individuals with the inbuilt need for relationship. So while modern technology offers a level of networking, we need to work hard to invest in personal relationships which go deeper than a profile picture or status update.
The church is challenged to keep up and adapt to a rapidly changing world. But as well as technology being a great resource we can use, we are already equipped with just the tool for the job. We are good at loving people.

Boxed up

People tend to have all sorts of expectations when they meet me, before I've even spoken I can tell when I've been mentally put in a box. Whenever I throw in that I'm originally from Essex people seem to have an altogether different perception of me! I get all sorts of responses when I travel around the South West, turning up at a church to preach or lead a workshop, simply because I am a young woman. We have many preconceptions - which is not always a bad thing and it's certainly natural - but just as I have to so often prove myself beyond my first impression, I equally have to spend time dispelling the myths surrounding the poor.

Many people believe that the poor are lazy. I'm sure that, just as in this country, developing countries have their fair share of idleness but from what I've seen and known, those in the poorest countries are determined to change the futures for their own people.

Many people think that the money they give to development agencies like Christian Aid go to corrupt governments. It doesn't, we give money straight to partner organisations that account for every penny and are monitored and supported by us.

Many people know that throwing money at the poverty problem won't change things long term - and actually if you think that, you're right. And that's why Christian Aid is a development agency and not just a charity. We don't just give money, we give money to projects and local partners who are determined to tackle the roots causes of poverty. That's why we campaign and lobby the powers that keep the poorest poor and the powerful dominating.

That's why the continuing support through money, campaigning and solidarity from communities across the UK are actually changing the world because there are no quick fixes, just the long haul. Despite any preconceived ideas you may have, hope in action is what is changing our world.

An absolute nightmare. Or not...

I can’t count the number of ‘worst day ever’s I’ve had or how often I’m ‘starving’… Even when I say ‘I don’t have enough money’ what I mean is I don’t have extra this week, and why do I insist so often that things were a ‘nightmare’ when actually things were just a bit tricky?!
We all use exaggeration for effect. To make a point. Especially when we want to show how unfortunate we are. Why is that? And the danger is that we can begin to believe our own script.

So here’s a reality check:
• If we woke up today with more health than illness, we are more fortunate than one million people who will not survive the week.
• If we have never been shot at, or imprisoned, or tortured, or starved, we are more fortunate than 500 million people in the world.
• If we have food in the fridge, clothes on our back and a roof overhead, we are more fortunate than 75% of the people on this planet.

And here’s the big one - If we have money in the bank, or in a wallet, or even spare change in a dish somewhere, we are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthiest people!

Working with those who are really poor, I have seen the world through their eyes. And they have taught me that real poverty is not about having too little food, or nowhere to live. Real poverty means having no choice. No way out. No hope for the future. No real life before death.

I thank God that there are people out there who are willing to live their lives as a thank you, rather than a please or a shrug. Who put the needs of others first, and dare to make a difference. No exaggeration necessary.

Veneer

Since coming back from Uganda I’ve been struggling to put back in place the confident veneer I’ve always had. And recently, I’ve stopped trying. It turns out that when you show your raw unpackaged wounded reality, people listen. They listen and they start shouting ME TOO!

I strongly believe that we live in a world where most people see through the façade of glossy advertising and manipulative marketing, and that there are many of us tired with the old ‘how are you?’ ‘I’m fine and you?’ greeting – when actually we’re not fine. Authenticity is a word that is in danger of being over used, and the word honesty has sadly become diluted. But we are pleasantly surprised by the rare acts of unprocessed truth and I’m calling for more of it.

In my work I’m seeing people prick up their ears and take notice when we simply say it like it is. The world is a harsh place for most people living on it, there are bad people and policies that wield power and harm others, and there is a church in the UK that has the best intentions but is struggling.

We don’t need to gloss over it, we need a reality check. Once we know where we really are, then we can build on it. And the truth really can set you free.

My note to churches

If I had a pound for every time I heard how hard it was to interest younger people in the church I would go a long way to helping the country through the recession...!

I am in my twenties, and part of an 'apathetic generation' so I'm told. My advice to those who ask for it is this; people want something to live for. We've seen consumerism bring us down, we've learnt the lessons of materialism, and we've seen generations before us search for enlightenment. What is bringing a crowd of young new volunteers from outside the church to my office wanting to get involved is more that just the need to add to a CV. It's the profound dissatisfaction with the world as it is, and the burning desire to do something to be part of the solution - whatever the cost.

My message to churches in particular is this - the church that looks outwards, gives sacrificially and seeks the Kingdom first... grows. Christian Aid allows us to act ecumenically, be practical about unity and bring the Kingdom of God to the here and now, 'out there' beyond our church walls. It puts the poorest and most vulnerable to the top of our agenda not as an optional extra but as the heart and soul of the church and the community. It puts flesh on the gospel and love - radical, outraged love, into action. That's the kind of movement me and my 'apathetic' friends would want to join!

He did not just say what I think he just said... oh yes he did...

There's no chance of me getting complacent in my work, and not just because of the state of the world, but because people never cease to amaze.

I was doing a presentation with a young chap who'd come back from Asia recently and wanted to share his photos and experiences. I'd been asked to add to his thoughts and inspire some new supporters. He threw some odd asides during his slideshow - 'there's one of the locals just watching us work, that happened a lot...' and listing lots of depressing facts about the poverty he'd seen. I didn't worry - I was there to give the wider context and the hope element. He went over time and I had to choose whether to move on, or fill for five minutes before the break. He'd originally wanted to do a Q&A so I didn't think there'd be too much problem asking him a few questions on the spot.

So I asked what the hardest thing about his visit was, (totally seriously:)'doing my own washing.'
And what will change now he's back after such an eye opening experience? 'Nothing. I was really into raising money for charities before I went, but now I've seen the rich and the poor... I really don't think I will. Sorry.'

Sense the change in atmosphere in the room...

(Voice in My Head: 'Maybe I'm the only one who picked up what he actually ... no everyone got it... do I just go straight to the break... no that would be a cop out... I'm gonna have to say something... like what?! It's now been five seconds... speak Laura... they're looking at you in expectant shock ... SPEAK'

I said something about how it's great and important that we are reminded how complex poverty is, and how we shouldn't be afraid to struggle. I told them how when I came back from Uganda I seriously struggled to get motivated and find the hope in what I did. Many of us have been plugging away for years, and how has the world changed? For every small victory there seems to be another set of challenges... why do we bother?

(Voice in my Head: 'I really hope you're going somewhere with this...')

We bother because when you've seen the world as it really is, you have a choice: to do nothing, or do something. And the compassion and righteous anger planted in us simply means we cannot stand by and shrug our shoulders.

Yes, there are lazy people in the developing world - there are lazy people here too. Yes there is corruption in poor countries - ... who are we to speak on that one?! And we could give up. But there are millions of people who don't have that option - who get up every day despite the odds and bloody well get on with it.

Or words to that effect.

I am so grateful to my young friend for throwing the cat amongst the pigeons and frankly - saying what everyone was probably thinking. Let's not keep pretending with some kind of unrealistic niceness that we can pat ourselves on the back and keep smiling. We should be confused about the state of the world - it's confusing. And we should be downright angry too, and struggling.

And sometimes we just have to cling on to that scrap of hope. That's the most profound act of solidarity I can think of.

A Quote

"Our lives begin to end when we fail to speak out against the things that really matter."
Martin Luther King Jnr

A Quote

"I think that we have greatly deformed the gospel. We have tried to live a very comfortable gospel, without committing ourselves, merely being pious, having a gospel that we are content with."

Oscar Romero, June 19th 1977

The Silent War

Officially, 6.7% of Uganda's population are HIV positive, but the truth is that only about 20% of the population has been tested. Also, the number of people testing positive is increasing, and the virus is spreading after an astounding decline which meant Uganda was previously the HIV success story.

Issues of foreign aid and education aside, it's the attitude of some Ugandans towards HIV which is terrifying. In a polygamous culture, the attitude of men towards sex is more than casual with one myth being that 'You are not a man if you do not die of AIDS'. Whereas the fear caused by the initial outbreak and education about HIV caused a change in behaviours, with the widespread availability of ARVs and the many people living into relative old age (their 40s and 50s) with HIV an attitude of nonchalance has emerged. One girl demonstrated the 'live for today' posture by saying 'I'd rather get AIDS than get pregnant'.

With rape, prostitution, and men offering school fees and money for food in exchange for sex, alongside polygamy, adultery and drug use... HIV is again bringing Uganda to its knees.

I was told 'The problem is not education - it is everywhere, on the radio, TV, papers and so on. The problem is ignorance.'

The Key is Education

When I spoke to students in Northern Uganda the girls in particular gave me such hope. To my shame, I was surprised at how 'Western' their thinking was and was impressed at their stance on education and marriage. However, it's worth noting that the students at Ushindi are fee paying and the fact that they are at Secondary School puts them into a particular group of society who are able to think beyond their own village.

I have no lesson to share in this blog post, I simply want to have the following noted.

'Education is a god' I was told more than once. Although the government provide teachers at state schools, education costs. And I mean more than money.

Many girls are promised their school fees from wealthy men in their community. Apparently there was one man who on his death bed confessed that he had infected 50 students at the local school plus at least 50 local women with HIV in exchange for school fees or money for their family. It's unlikely that he paid up in all these cases.

One neighbour shared with me 'If a girl says to her friend, I need money for this or that, her friend will say 'there is a secret, you must get yourself a boyfriend or better a sugar daddy, and you will be happy ... girls share a man who will pay. Three, four maybe ten will have the same sugar daddy.'

Everyone told me that education was the key to ending poverty, and I can't say I realy disagree. But does the price really have to be this high?

An HIV nurse said this 'One girl on the Ssese Islands was raped. She consented but I call it rape - she was 13. The price? A pencil.'

The Things We Put Up With

I have a terrible condition. I can not eat cheese. I'm lactose intolerant.

The thing is, I've always been proud of not being a fussy eater and I resent that I have to ask for special treatment if I am invited for meals, so I tend to stay quiet and enjoy the rare treat (which is certainly not a treat after about an hour). I had a meal with a family and had all three courses all packed with dairy, and I spent the afternoon very very quietly before being able to see straight enough to drive home! I'd much rather not make a fuss, even though it harms me and I'm told that long term it's really not sensible to keep 'cheating'.

The Lugbara people in Uganda have a saying; 'Peace at all costs'. The thought of causing offence is enough for them to never confront or question, and my parents faced this during their time as teachers in Arua. Suggesting improvements, asking why the current systems are in place, questioning statements which are actually wrong... some of the perils of Lugbaran management. And here lies one reason why many of the structures in place have barely changed since their introduction, why interaction with the global community still leaves Uganda on the back foot and why everything happens so very slowly!

This isn't simply a topic relevant to Uganda, I've faced it this week in Nightchurch. The choice is to stay quiet and go with the flow, enjoying the peace but suffering later, or to cause a fuss, risk offence and work to keep healthy.

Easier said than done? I do really like cheese...

The People I Admire

I was able to have some great conversations with students in Uganda, and they had plenty of questions for me too. Music is a huge business in Africa, with the African-American artists dominating the industry. President Obama is the other big celeb for obvious reasons, even in the most remote areas you can find Obama calendars adorning the walls! I had a good think about who I admire, whose calendar I'd want on my wall (I actually have an Exmouth Shanty Men calendar in the downstairs loo, but that's a whole different story).

Having met the Archbishop of Canterbury I have a lot of time for him (I'm sure he'll be pleased to hear that), he has an exceptionally difficult job and a lot of humility.
Oscar Romero whose quotes will most certainly be popping on here in the future was the Archbishop of San Salvador and an outspoken activist before his assassination in March 1980.
I'm a bit of a fan of Steve Chalke having been an Oasis gap year student, but I mostly admire him for shaking up the evangelical church in dramatic fashion, being a risk taker and pioneer. He is now an advisor for the UN on the issue of people trafficking.
I would love to be more like CJ of the West Wing (pictured), she's an amazing package of intelligence, strong femininity and leadership.
Nelson Mandela is a bit obvious but needs to in my list, as does Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

I have met so many incredible people in my travels, Semeda Steves - Christian Aid Staff in Delhi and Kathleen Burns - nurse in Uganda with AIM are two people whose influence will stay with me. And there are many others who have no website and some whose names I never knew who I admire and continue to inspire me.

The Point of Contact

I had no idea how I would cope in Uganda for three weeks with no phone, no internet, no laptop, no TV... I barely noticed the lack of TV (particularly when we had the West Wing and DVD player to keep us going) but I barely watch TV at home so that was fine. I coped fine with pen and paper and even without Facebook.

There was a small desire to tell people about how I was getting on, what I was seeing and doing and my deep and profound thoughts on things, but actually I had a far greater need to hear about how other people were getting on. Before you think I'm heading for sainthood (because I know that's what you were thinking) the true realisation was that I evaluate my own life in the light of others'. And without any familiar reference points, I found that in Uganda I was able to see my world in stark 3D as I scrambled to find some context.

These reference points I find in my relationships at home give an insight to the person I might have been had I made different choices, they provide benchmarks for me to evaluate whether I still want to be where and who I am. They challenge and inspire as well as shine the light on those areas where I still feel I need to make progress. Take that all away... and it's just me, myself and I.

Who are we when we are taken out of our home culture, job, even clothes... yes feel free to roll your eyes with the stench of an identity crisis quickly approaching. I don't think it's a matter of crisis though, more a check up. How often do we get the chance to point a healthy spotlight on ourselves and our choices without the comparison to others or pressure from media and society. In essence, who are we when we have no one to blame but ourselves?

A Quote

"I went up to a man and said, "Jesus loves you"... but I realised it didn't mean anything unless I did it."
Jackie Pullinger, St Stephen's Society

On Pondering,

I'm searching for the time and energy to write more on my trip to Uganda. It was hard, and inciteful and beautiful... I gave a short presentation to my colleagues yesterday simply sharing some of the stories I heard. I realised I need to take some time to formulate some thoughts which are a step further than 'I'm not sure where the hope is' ... so watch this space. I'll get there...!

Re-entry

I am back from foreign places in one, rather tired piece.

I'll be uploading some bits and pieces from my trip to Uganda partly to remind me of what I actually did each day, and eventually I'll get some of my more reflective thoughts on here too.

Needless to say I found the whole experience ponder-provoking.

More to come on this and more...

Last bits

... of packing up the house. I didn't pack any of the invading ants. I killed them.

Everybody needs good neighbours

... to tell you what's really going on in their country. Plus I made pancakes for the first time today!

If you want stories

... you just have to listen. I've had the privilege of talking with both students and teachers throughout my trip - and the whole of today in fact.

Yes, I asked about gender equality

It's been refeshing to talk to some of the girls and women about their views on gender, and also to observe myself some of the complex relationships found here.

I am told in no uncertain terms that education is the key, and that women can do as much as men if they work hard. When it comes to marriage, I was surprised to hear the girls (ages 16-19) explain they want to finish their education before finding a husband that will share with them and understand them, and that they would probably wait until their late twenties. I think I may have met some of the new generation of African women, empowered and influenced by the Western world with positive and negative consequences - which they themselves explained to me. We went on to discuss what was hard about living in Uganda - the poverty and corruption and what they would do about it.



Here's hoping I have just met members of the future Ugandan government.

Busy day

... church with the students who'd not yet gone home for the term, and a visit to Mary's house.

Observations of the white girl

My conversations with students have been most enlightening. I've also developed a lilt to my accent which helps them understand my english, but makes me sound utterly ridiculous. However I may try and hold to some of the sayings and unique sentence constructions as I do wonder if a different approach might help me in Cornwall...

I was asked by two students if it was true that 'lazy people in the UK get given money by the government'... and we discussed at length benefits, pensions, tax, the NHS. I've been asking what the students think of the UK, and all I can get from them is that it must be 'very nice' and 'very green'. And their favourite music? By far - Jay Z, Beyonce and Rihanna.

Oops

I told Dad fairly confidently that the bank closed at half 4. He is now sitting next to me (correcting my typos) having missed the bank by 5 minutes. It closed at 4. Oops.

Still, exciting times here...

Oh my, it's hot...

...but we did bring some rain with us during the past two nights which has been much needed. There's been a drought here in Uganda, and the rainy season never really came. So there's a food crisis and prices have shot up. Is the UK still whinging about the credit crunch?

Anyway, all is going well here. My dad and I have got back into the swing of African life pretty quickly and amazingly he remembers some basic Lugbara. We've even been watching West Wing most nights!
If you want to know more of what my parents were doing here have a look at their blog.

We've been in Uganda a week today, I'm currently sitting in an Internet Cafe in Arua, Northern Uganda while dad is at the bank. Most of the students from the secondary school where my parents lived and worked left today, but I managed to have a few good conversations with some of them before they left. I've also had the opportunity to talk with teachers, and with other Brits and missionaries in the area.

I'll stagger my blog entries to avoid waffle. It's worth a try anyway...

p.s. it turns out that, just like my father, I too melt at 27 degrees. This could be interesting...

The longest assembly

... and notice that despite being in 30 degree heat, I still wore black. That's commitment (and stupidity) for you.

Crowned Connect 4 Queen

... as I took on some students during a rare time away from chores and study for them.

Church

.. at the school, they were overwhelmingly welcoming and the singing raised the roof!

Up North

... to Arua where we met the principle and head of governors of my parent's former school at Cathy's. After a short adventure to town and a look at Arua Cathedral (pictured) we drove the claimed car back to Ushindi Secondary and my parent's Ugandan home.

Arrival

... in Entebbe and on to Kampala for a night. We had dinner with the lovely Greg and Karen of AIM at Lyn's flat and I completely melted in the heat. Good start.

Tomorrow, we return to Ushindi ...

Leaving on a jet plane

I'm away to Uganda on Thursday with the father (who art in Essex). I'm not entirely clear what I'll be doing when I'm there, but if the solar panels haven't melted and we find some internet access I'll be sure to post my happenings on here.

Hello to all of you who have chosen to follow my blog, I hope I don't disappoint as we build our relationship together.

See you in Africa ...

The Secret, part 3

The third part of my secret to involving new and younger people in the church reflects back to a subject I've spoken a lot about this year, and mentioned already in my blog. It is something so important I thought it worthy of another mention.

Worthy because my so-called apathetic generation is looking not for 'nice' or sentimental religion, rather we are looking for something radical, worth living for. We've seen the results of consumerisn all too well, and the emptiness and futility of fame and fortune. We've been burned by the promotion of shallow relationships and found a pick and mix spirituality sometimes lacking. What grabs our attention? A group of people who collectively see the world as it truly is and refuses to keep quiet, a crowd who live lives which take responsibility for themselves and others, with both gentle kindness and stormy prophetic actions take up the challenge to make the world fairer for all regardless of class, ethnicity or faith. So my third point is simply this - Do Love.

And do love well, the kind of love which screams at the policy makers and rages against the structures that keep people poor and oppressed, the kind of love that puts rotas last, and people first. The kind of love personified in Jesus - outrageous earth defying love. If the church professes that God is love then we have both the mandate and the power. And we certainly have no excuse.

The Secret, part 2

So, my secret formula for attracting new and younger people into the church. The first of my three points (I grew up Baptist after all) was the challenge to be something that people want to be part of, an authentic community.

Here's number two: do something that people want to do. It may sound obvious but you'd be amazed at how many struggling groups and churches i talk to and ask them why they do the things they do, and the answer is simply - 'because we always have...'.
Don't get me wrong, if something is proving worthwhile and hitting its potential then, fantastic. But in my experience people are craving some refreshment and so there are some hard questions to be asked. For example; 'If you weren't already involved, would you go to the activities you organise?' and 'What would you look forward to?, also 'Why don't you invite your friends and neighbours along?'.

Just as an aside, if you want to involve people like me (which you may not want to of course) then do everything around food.

I wonder why more and more younger people from outside the church are getting involved with Christian Aid activities? Maybe one reason is because they can see that what we do is worthwhie, with funds and awareness raising benefitting some of the poorest communities around the world. But another reason could well be that many of our events (like our pub quizzes, Quiz Aid) use a format people are comfortable with and don't require that they'll have to go near a church building!

I may be time for us to take a hard look at what we do and challenge ourselves out of our comfort zones and into those belonging to the people outside the walls of the church.

The Secret, part 1

I have a fairly unique perspective when it comes to churches; I grew up in a Baptist Church, worked for Pentecostal and United Reformed Churches and with ecumenical, multi-denominational, inter-church networks... in short - I'm denominationally confused.

This does mean that my knowledge of church alongside the fact that I'm in my twenties and of what has been termed an 'apathetic generation' gives me an interesting vantage point. I can't remember how many times I've been told how much people would like new and younger people involved in church and in things like Christian Aid. Recently, I discovered the secret which might just tackle these and other such problems. There are three parts. Here's the first:

Be something that people want to be part of. You know what? The most important issues for new or younger people looking for a spiritual home do not include furniture, flowers - or even whether there's a drumkit. We're looking for community; authentic, loving, inclusive community who accept people because God does and not because they fit, and allows them to challenge life not demand they conform to a certain world view.

And what's more, younger people are flooding through my office door at Christian Aid at the moment and I'm sure that their reasons include this search for a community that is outward looking, accepts them with their flaws ready to help them be part of the action, and practices the love it preaches.

Shhh

In this day and age there still seem to be so many taboos - sex, death, money. But I'm one of those people who is unafraid to take things head on, it can get me into trouble but I can't help it! So here's one for you - HIV.

Poverty will never be history unless we fight the underlying causes of HIV. A lack of education in schools, public clinics and hospitals; the increasing need to migrate in order to find work; the desperation that drives women and girls to work; and the lack of access to lifesaving treatment all point to the same conclusion: HIV is fuelled by, and is fuelling, the vicious cycle of poverty.

HIV is a virus, not a moral issue.

The response to HIV must therefore be based on public health measures and human rights principles, and not on judgements about what we perceive to be right or wrong.

Christian Aid supports partner organisations in developing countries working to provide treatment to the people who need it. They provide support groups and education, meeting the needs of people at every level. Globally we are calling for an end to stigma afflicted on those diagnosed as HIV-positive. We are asking for the church to step up and courageously take action alongside the world's poor as well as those people in the UK and around the world living with HIV.

HIV may not be at the top of many UK churches' agendas but raising the issue helps those infected to escape their isolation, it increases education which promotes prevention, and it makes us look outward to one of the most vicious epidemics crippling the world's poorest communities.

I may be a taboo, but this world needs those people bold enough to speak out, stand up and stand alongside those who deserve it.

A Quote

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
Margaret Mead

Patience Rewarded

So, I found myself a few weeks ago asking the Archbishop Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams, whether he minded if I asked him if he ever got mistaken for Dumbledore (from Harry Potter) in front of a full Exeter Cathedral. The answer, no problem but more often it's Gandalf...

It was a big youth event at the Cathedral as part of the diocese's 1100 birthday celebrations, and I can't say I was too keen at the idea of sitting on a sofa with the AB of C (yes I asked him and he said I could call him whatever I felt comfortable with) amongst a load of kids playing guitar hero, enjoying the bouncy castles and sumo wrestling and waiting for us to get out of the way so the next rock band could perform. I wondered if he might be a little... out of place.

But any nerves were quickly dispatched after this, the senior bishop of the worldwide Anglican Communion, having heard we were running behind after some youngsters wanted prayer quipped 'gosh prayer does get in the way sometimes doesn't it'. The Archbish and me? Yeah we got on.


He's a humble man, no big presence unless he is in full swing doing his bishopy thing. Totally approachable. I'm a bit smitten with him to be honest...
On stage I asked him all sorts, why he was wearing a dress, why the church spent so much money on buildings, where he stands on gay marriage, denominations and world religions, his favourite parts of his job, what keeps him up at night... we covered a lot of ground and fair play to him - he gave clear, intelligent but audience appropriate answers. I wanted to press him for more depth but I was all too aware of the bunch of kids sitting on the cold cathedral floor so I kept it light. I wanted him to give more on the questions of why someone should be a Christian, why the church is in decline and why young people aren't engaging in the faith. But that would have been my agenda, and that wouldn't have been appropriate.

My final question: 'Now that Michael Jackson has passed away, are YOU the new king of pop?'

I think David Dimbleby is safe for now.



p.s. His answer 'Probably not, but then God is full of surprises!' So, watch this space...

Spare change

Did you know that if you have any disposable income at all, you are in the top 8% of the world's richest people? I don't mention that to play down the trauma of the current financial situation but it's always nice to be given a little perspective don't you think!? Did you know that £3 could buy a month's supply of beans for a family following the disaster in Burma?

One of the most common comments I receive after I give a presentation or talk is about not having the resources to do anything about poverty. Another one is not being able to do enough to make a difference. My mum used to tell me that I had an answer for everything and I'm happy to say that it's no different in this case!

Firstly, we can all do something. Whether it is looking at our lifestyles (which can save us money by the way) and remembering that the way we live has a huge impact on people all around the world, or giving as much as we can to an organisation like Christian Aid who then transform pounds into sustainable solutions for the world's poor, or we can take part in a campaign to challenge the rules and structures that mean that the world favours some and not others... we can all do something.

And as to whether is makes a difference, absolutely. I've seen it. I've seen £5.25 loaned to a family to buy their first set of cloth and dye and start a business which is now independent, and that loan has been paid back. I've seen £10 worth of trees producing fruit preventing soil erosion in Senegal. A little does go a long way...

A Quote

"It is now more dangerous to be a woman than to be a soldier in modern conflict."
Maj. Gen. Patrick Cammaert, 2008, former UN Peacekeeping Operation Commander in DR Congo

Patience

I will write more about the Archbishop of Canterbury incident... honestly.

Just not now.

Tricky business

Do politics and faith mix? Faith based organisations like Christian Aid come in for a lot of stick for our campaigning and political work. We have the ear of the government on issues like Climate Change and International Trade Rules. But shouldn't we just stick to raising money, and maybe a bit of prayer?

The God I believe in has a heart for the poor that hasn't changed. The Christianity I subsribe to teaches that no one is disposable to God. Christian Aid's gospel driven work is led by the belief that everyone deserves a future, refusing to be compromised by the world's complacency about poverty. Everything Christian Aid does come back to the responsibility laid by God at our feet, and the mandate to care for the vulnerable and speak up for the silenced.

Just as Jesus ministered outside accepted social barriers, healing people regardless of their beleifs - we are unafraid to get involved in complicated places. And while responding to people in need is vital, we believe that God does not want the world to be this way, so we campaign to change the underlying structures that make and keep people poor. It means challenging the people who have the power to change things, not trying to hide anger when the poor are exploited and pushing forward the values of justice, peace and love to change the world's values.

Becoming involved in politics helped people like William Wilberforce bring an end to slavery 200 years ago. It enabled campaigners to persuade rich governments to cancel the criplling debt if some of the world's poorest countries in the run up to the millennium. And so it is exactly because we are people of faith that we must continue to speak out.

When I met the A B of C

I'll write more when I'm a bit more awake, but for now...





It's been a weird week...

Why I'm wearing black today

Let's get this straight, I'm not a militant man hating fembot, honestly. I do however believe in people's right to do more than scrape by, to be treated with respect and to be free. I believe in choice, joy and life in all its fullness. I know that discrimination on the basis of gender is wrong, and that violence and oppression do not belong in this world.

It's hot today, and wearing black certainly isn't comfortable. I'll leave you to make your own link on that one...

I wear black so that I don't forget the stories I have heard, the people I've cried with and those fighting for justice despite the challenges. In itself, this statement won't change the world. Together maybe we'll raise a few eyebrows and engage with a certain audience. Maybe we ourselves will be be changed a little as we feel the weight of solidarity on our shoulders.

But put simply, I wear black because I must do something. I cannot be silent, I cannot shake from my mind what I know, I cannot go back to ignorant bliss.

I will be uncomfortable today, and every other Thursday and if I'm really lucky - every day I live until this world changes. Like so many people, I have no choice but to fight.

The truth about women

Did you know that on average women use 20,000 words a day while men only use 7,000?

Here are some more gender facts for you:
Every year, more than 530,000 women die from pregnancy-related causes. That's one every minute. If this continues at the current rate another 4 million women will die in the next 6 years.
Women do 66% of the world's work and get paid less than 10% of its income, in Africa it's 80% of the work.
In the UK, women working full-time are paid on average 17% less an hour than men.
75% of all Russian women suffer from some type of violence within the family.
And of the 1.3 billion people living in poverty around the world, 70% are women.

Kofi Annan said that 'Gender equality is critical to the development and peace of every nation.'

And that's what Christian Aid partners and beneficiaries believe too. We work with communities, campaigners and educators to change the attitudes and structures which keep women downtrodden around the world. An inspiring female Indian leader once said 'Educate your women and the nation will take care of itself... the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.' And if we are serious about making a fairer world for all, then we have to challenge the inequality in our own communities too.

We may use more words than men, but the majority of women around the world still need their voices to be heard.

Unveiled

I walked into an urban slum in India surrounded by the stench of sewage and rubbish through the tiny brick and mud homes, and into a large community hall.

In front of me sat a hundred or so Indian women singing and smiling at me. I knew that four years ago one of the partner organisations funded and supported by Christian Aid was invited by this community to help them from the brink of extreme poverty. As with so many other groups, these people had been excluded from wider society, ignored by the authorities and were plagued by domestic violence. When our partners first visited the women didn't come out of their homes and they wore sheer veils covering their heads - simply as a barrier to the outside world and everyone in it.

I was astonished to sit in front of this group of smiling, unveiled women as they told me what they'd acheived. Our partner had helped both men and women to raise the status of girls and women to have equal standing. For the first time these women believed that they had a big part to play in bringing their community out of poverty, and that they were equal and worthwhile human beings. The men saw too that they needed the women to become economically active.

The women told me how with a loan from us which they've now paid back, they have formed money lending group to help small businesses start and about the training courses they've undertaken to learn new skills including literacy. They told me how the women took off their veils and stood alongside their men to face the world. They told me how their unity was their strength and how they fearlessly take on the authorities to provide their basic rights like clean water and primary education. They told me how they rally and picket the police when they know corruption has taken place, and how they work with families to eradicate domestic violence in their community.

In front of me where the faces changing India from the roots, and they're doing it themselves. All they needed was to be told it was time take off their veils.

My Bracelet

Visiting overseas projects with Christian Aid can sometimes be a bit embarrassing as they tend to give you presents even though they themselves have so little.

I was leaving a women's rights project in Northern India when they presented me with a number of gifts simply for giving them some of my time to hear their stories. One of them was a plastic red bracelet and as I sat in the back of a car on the to the station with a few of the project's ladies I explained to them that my wrist was unfortunately too big to wear such petite jewellery. They suddenly grabbed my hand while simultaneously producing some sort of cream and the next thing I knew my hand was contorted in a way it probably was never meant to be and I had a bracelet on my wrist which I was fairly sure would never come off again.

After my hand recovered and I had spent a few days with the bracelet annoying me, particularly as I tried to sleep with it on, I returned to the UK. For many many months after I returned from India I wore the same red plastic bracelet on my right wrist. Most of the time I didn't notice it but occasionally it niggled at me. I kept it on for two reasons (other than at the time it appeared to be indestructible). Firstly it reminded me of the strong women I met in India who are working to change the position of women in their country and bring themselves out of some of the most extreme cases of poverty in the world. And secondly, it was annoying. Unfortunately I still needed something tangible to remind me that for the majority of the world life is more than simply uncomfortable, that if I get too comfortable then I become ineffective and I lose touch with not only my calling as a Christian but my responsibility as a human.

The bracelet eventually broke, but I still have it. It sits in my room, I see it every day and it still niggles at me. And I'll keep it in view as long as I still need reminding.

Something Kinda Ooh

Yesterday I did a practical training day to finish my Indian Head Massage course. It was in the middle of nowhere in North Devon, and was a full class of eight plus teacher and her assistant (the poor thing was demonstrated on all day!). Not only did I learn a great deal (and am keen to practice on anyone) and as we worked in pairs I got massaged half of the time (it was a hard ol' day...), but it was a delight to meet such an interesting group of people.

I'm into gender equality and not being the judgemental type, of course. But even I was surprised to find three men in the group and not a hippy in sight. It turns out that holistic and complimentary therapies no longer come with a side order of hemp. There was a beer bellied builder from London who having started in a friend's salon practicing reiki wants to build up his portfolio, a divorced pilates teacher from Staffordshire wanting to offer massage to her one-on-one clients, a Ukrainian seamstress living in Cambridge who wants to start her own therapy business and a young African guy studying all sorts of massage so that he can offer his services to spas in Somerset.

I loved hearing their stories and struggles, who believed in chakras and energy healing, and who was starting a new career because of a midlife crisis or redundancy. It was a pleasure to spend the day with such warm, gentle, accepting people who couldn't have been more different. I'll save the 'don't judge a book by its cover' lesson for now, and leave it at - if you go for a massage you might be surprised by your therapist, but I'm sure they'll be jolly nice.

The L Word

I've learnt a thing or two about love in my young years. Mainly that love is not soppy, nor sentimental, not sweet or sickly or nice. Love is a force to be reckoned with, it does not sit back and watch and it promises a fullness of life. Christian Aid is rooted in the Christian gospel and if we believe that Jesus is the most perfect representation of love then the cross is the most loving act in history, setting in motion a powerful and life-changing chain of love.

Love sees others. The Bible tells us that we cannot say we love God but hate those around us - and some scholars have argued that the hate referred to in the New Testament of the Bible isn't rage or bitter hatred, but merely low-level contempt or indifference, working from the Greek root which means 'loveless'. This is an interesting idea because there are many people we neither dearly love not actively hate - just many whose concerns are not ours - whom we simply do not see. But if we say we love God then we can no longer turn away from these people and we are challenged to see them as God does. And once we do, we won't be able to hold back from outrageous, active, powerful love. Love that acts, love that moves, love that can change the world.

A Spiritual Something

So I'm part of a new kind of faith community called Nightchurch which has so far centred around Friday nights in Exeter Cathedral where we provide an open free space for prayer and worship of sorts, exploring the holy space and engaging in discussion on a number of levels. There's free tea and coffee too.

There's a group of us from all sorts of backgrounds making up the 'Leadership Community' and we've been tackling an interesting and potentially unique issue. We've got this large and fantastic group of people giving up their time and energy on Friday nights plus regular big events like Jazz nights and concerts, visiting Bishops and youth events. So we're pretty covered on the 'outward' stuff, particularly with the homeless for whom we provide a free BBQ and a warm welcome in the cafe.

But what about building community? What about those of us on the team who don't already have a church which teaches, encourages and supports us so that we've actually got something to give on a Friday night? These questions and a few more about people who just don't fit into mainstream church looking for somewhere they could belong and be safe to ask questions right down to the core of faith, religion and God... have been niggling at us for some time.

So a few of us have started a little gathering meeting at the pub on Monday nights fortnightly. We've established that it should be a place where all questions and experiences are welcome, and its aim is to be a part of people's spiritual journey by providing an authentic community.

I am all too aware that many attempts at 'new ways of being church' have tried and failed, or have ended up being simply Sunday church, on a different day in a different venue. We're not about just telling people about Jesus, it's more that we want to be a place where people who've heard it, maybe tried it, and still have unanswered questions can belong. No one's offering a solution, just a community of searchers.

I'm excited about it, while a voice in my head asks 'is this possible...'?

A Quote

"Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral."
Paulo Freire

More than a fashion choice

Across the UK, people from all walks of life will make a stand against gender-based discrimination and violence worldwide simply by choosing to wear black on Thursday 25^th June.

Of the 1.3 billion people living in poverty around the world, 70% are women

Ever since I visited India last year to meet partner organisations and beneficiaries of the work of Christian Aid, I have worn black on Thursdays along with the thousands of people – men and women – across the world who want to stand alongside those who have suffered from gender-based violence or injustice and those who are fighting for a fairer world for all.

Women do two-thirds of the world’s work and get paid less than 10% of its income

Now we are launching a Thursday in Black day encouraging everyone who wants to be part of this solidarity movement simply to wear black on Thursday 25^th June 2009.

More than half of women in the world over the age of 15 cannot read or write

If you want to take it further you can join the movement by visiting www.thursdaysinblack.ning.com , joining our Facebook group, following us on Twitter or just by commenting on my blog!

Violence causes more death and disability worldwide amongst women

aged 15 – 44 than war, cancer, malaria or traffic accidents.

If you want to give money to Christian Aid who are working around the world for justice and equality you can donate using our ‘Living Costs’ card as a help, available by emailing me or from the Facebook and ning sites.

‘Gender equality is critical to the development and peace of every nation.’ (Kofi Annan)

Thursdays in Black is an international campaign that has historically united people who believe in the fundamental importance of respecting all human life without discrimination. As a human rights campaign, it was started by the World Council of Churches during the 1980s as a peaceful protest against rape and violence - the by-products of war and conflict. The campaign today focuses on ways that individuals can challenge attitudes that cause discrimination, inequality and violence.

Please spread the word, make a stand against a world that will allow the human rights of women to be abused and threatened, and become part of a worldwide movement which enables outrage - and love - to be transformed into action.

To blog or not to blog...

... a question that has evidently been answered.

Enough people have asked for a copy of various talks, thoughts and interviews that I thought I'd just put them in one place. This also gives me the opportunity to jot down any thoughts I don't ever get to share or are somewhat off the cuff and might never otherwise be saved forever... whether this is a good thing remains to be seen!

For now this blog intends to be a record of thoughts and musings from my own head, some from people I respect, some connected with my work, some connected with my involvement in de-institutionalised spiritual journeying, some from time spent procrastinating over more important things.

So, here we go...