When I met the A B of C

I'll write more when I'm a bit more awake, but for now...





It's been a weird week...

Why I'm wearing black today

Let's get this straight, I'm not a militant man hating fembot, honestly. I do however believe in people's right to do more than scrape by, to be treated with respect and to be free. I believe in choice, joy and life in all its fullness. I know that discrimination on the basis of gender is wrong, and that violence and oppression do not belong in this world.

It's hot today, and wearing black certainly isn't comfortable. I'll leave you to make your own link on that one...

I wear black so that I don't forget the stories I have heard, the people I've cried with and those fighting for justice despite the challenges. In itself, this statement won't change the world. Together maybe we'll raise a few eyebrows and engage with a certain audience. Maybe we ourselves will be be changed a little as we feel the weight of solidarity on our shoulders.

But put simply, I wear black because I must do something. I cannot be silent, I cannot shake from my mind what I know, I cannot go back to ignorant bliss.

I will be uncomfortable today, and every other Thursday and if I'm really lucky - every day I live until this world changes. Like so many people, I have no choice but to fight.

The truth about women

Did you know that on average women use 20,000 words a day while men only use 7,000?

Here are some more gender facts for you:
Every year, more than 530,000 women die from pregnancy-related causes. That's one every minute. If this continues at the current rate another 4 million women will die in the next 6 years.
Women do 66% of the world's work and get paid less than 10% of its income, in Africa it's 80% of the work.
In the UK, women working full-time are paid on average 17% less an hour than men.
75% of all Russian women suffer from some type of violence within the family.
And of the 1.3 billion people living in poverty around the world, 70% are women.

Kofi Annan said that 'Gender equality is critical to the development and peace of every nation.'

And that's what Christian Aid partners and beneficiaries believe too. We work with communities, campaigners and educators to change the attitudes and structures which keep women downtrodden around the world. An inspiring female Indian leader once said 'Educate your women and the nation will take care of itself... the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.' And if we are serious about making a fairer world for all, then we have to challenge the inequality in our own communities too.

We may use more words than men, but the majority of women around the world still need their voices to be heard.

Unveiled

I walked into an urban slum in India surrounded by the stench of sewage and rubbish through the tiny brick and mud homes, and into a large community hall.

In front of me sat a hundred or so Indian women singing and smiling at me. I knew that four years ago one of the partner organisations funded and supported by Christian Aid was invited by this community to help them from the brink of extreme poverty. As with so many other groups, these people had been excluded from wider society, ignored by the authorities and were plagued by domestic violence. When our partners first visited the women didn't come out of their homes and they wore sheer veils covering their heads - simply as a barrier to the outside world and everyone in it.

I was astonished to sit in front of this group of smiling, unveiled women as they told me what they'd acheived. Our partner had helped both men and women to raise the status of girls and women to have equal standing. For the first time these women believed that they had a big part to play in bringing their community out of poverty, and that they were equal and worthwhile human beings. The men saw too that they needed the women to become economically active.

The women told me how with a loan from us which they've now paid back, they have formed money lending group to help small businesses start and about the training courses they've undertaken to learn new skills including literacy. They told me how the women took off their veils and stood alongside their men to face the world. They told me how their unity was their strength and how they fearlessly take on the authorities to provide their basic rights like clean water and primary education. They told me how they rally and picket the police when they know corruption has taken place, and how they work with families to eradicate domestic violence in their community.

In front of me where the faces changing India from the roots, and they're doing it themselves. All they needed was to be told it was time take off their veils.

My Bracelet

Visiting overseas projects with Christian Aid can sometimes be a bit embarrassing as they tend to give you presents even though they themselves have so little.

I was leaving a women's rights project in Northern India when they presented me with a number of gifts simply for giving them some of my time to hear their stories. One of them was a plastic red bracelet and as I sat in the back of a car on the to the station with a few of the project's ladies I explained to them that my wrist was unfortunately too big to wear such petite jewellery. They suddenly grabbed my hand while simultaneously producing some sort of cream and the next thing I knew my hand was contorted in a way it probably was never meant to be and I had a bracelet on my wrist which I was fairly sure would never come off again.

After my hand recovered and I had spent a few days with the bracelet annoying me, particularly as I tried to sleep with it on, I returned to the UK. For many many months after I returned from India I wore the same red plastic bracelet on my right wrist. Most of the time I didn't notice it but occasionally it niggled at me. I kept it on for two reasons (other than at the time it appeared to be indestructible). Firstly it reminded me of the strong women I met in India who are working to change the position of women in their country and bring themselves out of some of the most extreme cases of poverty in the world. And secondly, it was annoying. Unfortunately I still needed something tangible to remind me that for the majority of the world life is more than simply uncomfortable, that if I get too comfortable then I become ineffective and I lose touch with not only my calling as a Christian but my responsibility as a human.

The bracelet eventually broke, but I still have it. It sits in my room, I see it every day and it still niggles at me. And I'll keep it in view as long as I still need reminding.

Something Kinda Ooh

Yesterday I did a practical training day to finish my Indian Head Massage course. It was in the middle of nowhere in North Devon, and was a full class of eight plus teacher and her assistant (the poor thing was demonstrated on all day!). Not only did I learn a great deal (and am keen to practice on anyone) and as we worked in pairs I got massaged half of the time (it was a hard ol' day...), but it was a delight to meet such an interesting group of people.

I'm into gender equality and not being the judgemental type, of course. But even I was surprised to find three men in the group and not a hippy in sight. It turns out that holistic and complimentary therapies no longer come with a side order of hemp. There was a beer bellied builder from London who having started in a friend's salon practicing reiki wants to build up his portfolio, a divorced pilates teacher from Staffordshire wanting to offer massage to her one-on-one clients, a Ukrainian seamstress living in Cambridge who wants to start her own therapy business and a young African guy studying all sorts of massage so that he can offer his services to spas in Somerset.

I loved hearing their stories and struggles, who believed in chakras and energy healing, and who was starting a new career because of a midlife crisis or redundancy. It was a pleasure to spend the day with such warm, gentle, accepting people who couldn't have been more different. I'll save the 'don't judge a book by its cover' lesson for now, and leave it at - if you go for a massage you might be surprised by your therapist, but I'm sure they'll be jolly nice.

The L Word

I've learnt a thing or two about love in my young years. Mainly that love is not soppy, nor sentimental, not sweet or sickly or nice. Love is a force to be reckoned with, it does not sit back and watch and it promises a fullness of life. Christian Aid is rooted in the Christian gospel and if we believe that Jesus is the most perfect representation of love then the cross is the most loving act in history, setting in motion a powerful and life-changing chain of love.

Love sees others. The Bible tells us that we cannot say we love God but hate those around us - and some scholars have argued that the hate referred to in the New Testament of the Bible isn't rage or bitter hatred, but merely low-level contempt or indifference, working from the Greek root which means 'loveless'. This is an interesting idea because there are many people we neither dearly love not actively hate - just many whose concerns are not ours - whom we simply do not see. But if we say we love God then we can no longer turn away from these people and we are challenged to see them as God does. And once we do, we won't be able to hold back from outrageous, active, powerful love. Love that acts, love that moves, love that can change the world.

A Spiritual Something

So I'm part of a new kind of faith community called Nightchurch which has so far centred around Friday nights in Exeter Cathedral where we provide an open free space for prayer and worship of sorts, exploring the holy space and engaging in discussion on a number of levels. There's free tea and coffee too.

There's a group of us from all sorts of backgrounds making up the 'Leadership Community' and we've been tackling an interesting and potentially unique issue. We've got this large and fantastic group of people giving up their time and energy on Friday nights plus regular big events like Jazz nights and concerts, visiting Bishops and youth events. So we're pretty covered on the 'outward' stuff, particularly with the homeless for whom we provide a free BBQ and a warm welcome in the cafe.

But what about building community? What about those of us on the team who don't already have a church which teaches, encourages and supports us so that we've actually got something to give on a Friday night? These questions and a few more about people who just don't fit into mainstream church looking for somewhere they could belong and be safe to ask questions right down to the core of faith, religion and God... have been niggling at us for some time.

So a few of us have started a little gathering meeting at the pub on Monday nights fortnightly. We've established that it should be a place where all questions and experiences are welcome, and its aim is to be a part of people's spiritual journey by providing an authentic community.

I am all too aware that many attempts at 'new ways of being church' have tried and failed, or have ended up being simply Sunday church, on a different day in a different venue. We're not about just telling people about Jesus, it's more that we want to be a place where people who've heard it, maybe tried it, and still have unanswered questions can belong. No one's offering a solution, just a community of searchers.

I'm excited about it, while a voice in my head asks 'is this possible...'?

A Quote

"Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral."
Paulo Freire

More than a fashion choice

Across the UK, people from all walks of life will make a stand against gender-based discrimination and violence worldwide simply by choosing to wear black on Thursday 25^th June.

Of the 1.3 billion people living in poverty around the world, 70% are women

Ever since I visited India last year to meet partner organisations and beneficiaries of the work of Christian Aid, I have worn black on Thursdays along with the thousands of people – men and women – across the world who want to stand alongside those who have suffered from gender-based violence or injustice and those who are fighting for a fairer world for all.

Women do two-thirds of the world’s work and get paid less than 10% of its income

Now we are launching a Thursday in Black day encouraging everyone who wants to be part of this solidarity movement simply to wear black on Thursday 25^th June 2009.

More than half of women in the world over the age of 15 cannot read or write

If you want to take it further you can join the movement by visiting www.thursdaysinblack.ning.com , joining our Facebook group, following us on Twitter or just by commenting on my blog!

Violence causes more death and disability worldwide amongst women

aged 15 – 44 than war, cancer, malaria or traffic accidents.

If you want to give money to Christian Aid who are working around the world for justice and equality you can donate using our ‘Living Costs’ card as a help, available by emailing me or from the Facebook and ning sites.

‘Gender equality is critical to the development and peace of every nation.’ (Kofi Annan)

Thursdays in Black is an international campaign that has historically united people who believe in the fundamental importance of respecting all human life without discrimination. As a human rights campaign, it was started by the World Council of Churches during the 1980s as a peaceful protest against rape and violence - the by-products of war and conflict. The campaign today focuses on ways that individuals can challenge attitudes that cause discrimination, inequality and violence.

Please spread the word, make a stand against a world that will allow the human rights of women to be abused and threatened, and become part of a worldwide movement which enables outrage - and love - to be transformed into action.

To blog or not to blog...

... a question that has evidently been answered.

Enough people have asked for a copy of various talks, thoughts and interviews that I thought I'd just put them in one place. This also gives me the opportunity to jot down any thoughts I don't ever get to share or are somewhat off the cuff and might never otherwise be saved forever... whether this is a good thing remains to be seen!

For now this blog intends to be a record of thoughts and musings from my own head, some from people I respect, some connected with my work, some connected with my involvement in de-institutionalised spiritual journeying, some from time spent procrastinating over more important things.

So, here we go...