The thing that should the THE thing

I’m part of an alternative church in Exeter which meets throughout the week and on Friday nights we meet in the Cathedral to open it to the public, provide a safe sacred place and serve whoever comes in, from the homeless to bishops, tourists to our neighbours.
We’re trying to create something which balances building community with being outward looking; and with a team made up of people from such a broad spectrum of life I sometimes struggle to find what we all have in common!
There’s been an interesting phenomenon recently. We have a lot of drifters who come and take what we offer and drop in and out as it meets their needs or lifestyle. However, what we’re seeing of late is the complete opposite – people, of all ages, coming along often by coincidence or accident, and by the end of their first evening they’re helping us tidy up and have joined the team mailing list. I find this baffling, I thought that ‘people these days’ came along to something like church, saw if it met their needs, came for a while, got accepted by the group and eventually got asked to join a rota.
In my church what we have in common is unconditional service. And people want to be part of it. Like so many, they are looking to make a difference yet so few seem to look to the church, maybe because they see that there’s a code of conduct to be signed up to before they can start to be of any use.
I wonder if the church makes the most of advertising what it’s there for. Surely it is the perfect place for people to find something to live for, to be a journeying community of loving servants, and a channel through which we can really make a difference.

I was a bit ranty when I wrote this one...

Someone once said to me ‘wow look they’ve got brick homes, lights and a school building and a doctor that visits’. I told her that this village in Africa she was talking about had electricity for 2 hours a day, school classes of 60 and the hospital was miles away with no access to an ambulance.’ She replied ‘but what they’ve got is still quite good for a poor village, they’re the lucky ones aren’t they?’

The more I think about it, the more I get a bit annoyed. I know things have been hard financially for our country recently, and hopefully that helps us empathise. But I can’t help wondering whether we have some double standards. While we worry about the state of our school playgrounds, 75 million children are not in primary school at all. While we complain about the state of the NHS, a woman dies every minute because she can’t access healthcare. I don’t mean to sound preachy or self righteous, I am ashamed that I am guilty of this. Just yesterday I was complaining about the road works in my street, when over 220thousand people died in the Haiti earthquake and the rebuilding from that will take years.

There’s been a lot of talk in development circles about how we can measure poverty, is the dollar a day line ignoring the many different dimensions of poverty? More and more people talk of a ‘moral poverty line’, how poor is too poor? Scraping by is not life in all its fullness, and it is not OK that the majority of people in our world struggle to survive day to day. We do not deserve more than anyone born anywhere else.

As we accept that the poor in our world are whole human beings with the same rights as the rich, who are so vastly in the minority, our response to the need we see becomes a lot more generous. Fewer coppers, and more calls for change.

The black thing again

When I visited Christian Aid projects in India I met some of the most fearsome women imaginable! These were women who had been empowered to fight for their rights, stand up to corruption and tackle the culture of inequality that keeps women oppressed.

I had the privilege of meeting staff of women’s organisations that were focussed on helping women out of dangerous situations and offering education and support to girls to provide them with the many opportunities they deserve.

On one particular day I sat in a tiny room with an interpreter and one by one, men, women, parents and children told me of their experiences. Some, like Gina, had saved their mothers from neglect. Others like Reema, had been forced into marriage at the age of 13 and been abused and denied education. Others like Ramesh, watched their daughter become trapped in a vicious cycle of domestic violence. I heard some appalling stories that day. I cried with parents as they asked me to make sure it doesn’t happed to anyone else’s children. I got angry with the staff who are fearlessly tackling the corruption and culture that means that most of these atrocities are swept under the carpet.

I came back from India changed and a bit broken. Yet I have a confession… I knew that unless I made an effort, everything I felt in India would fade as I readjusted to my comfortable life. I decided I wanted to stay a bit broken, so I joined the growing movement of people who wear black on Thursdays as a peaceful protest and a symbol of solidarity with all those fighting and affected by gender based inequality and violence. I’ve not missed a Thursday yet, and it has connected me with those who showed me just how uncomfortable I should feel with the way the world is for far too many people.

Getting away with it

I know that we have probably all let our memories of this year’s World Cup go, not that everyone was even paying attention of course. I get the feeling that for a lot of us, the whole tournament will be remembered for the incredible amount of cheating and trying to get away with it that went on. This, from some of the most well paid role models in the world!
What a culture we’re nurturing! When did become so untrendy to toe the line? When did being a rebel rule breaker become cool? Why do acceptable mantras now include ‘success at all costs’ and ‘trample on anyone to get to the top’. And why are we surprised that our society’s conscience is diluted?

Christian Aid is one of the agents calling for dishonesty and underhanded tactics to be uncovered. Because while footballers who cheat get disciplined or develop a bad reputation, when multinational companies do it – people are trapped in poverty.
Poor countries have the riches to help work their own way out of poverty, including natural resources and products that we rely on, but it’s multinational companies that are reaping the rewards. A worldwide culture of financial secrecy allows tax-dodging firms to rob poor countries of more than 160billion dollars a year. Tax avoidance drains poor countries of more money every year than they receive in aid.

So I want to do myself out of a job. If developing countries were treated with the same respect we demand, they wouldn’t need aid anymore. I am talking about putting pressure on the powerful and causing a fuss and asking for a change in our consumer culture but you know what? I want to find my national pride again.

Goldfish

So much of life seems to be hit and run, fads and trends, fashion and shock driven. Our attention spans are ever shorter as we are fed a diet of sound bites and fast living. The danger with that is that we short change ourselves and those around us.

This year has seen some of the most heartbreaking disasters of a generation. In January in excess of 220 thousand people died as a result of the earthquake in Haiti. This summer a food shortage hit West Africa, leaving ten million people facing the prospect of severe food shortages across the region. The death toll following severe floods in Pakistan will continue to rise as food prices increase, disease spreads and people are left without shelter.

People across the world have wasted no time in giving generously to the appeals and to the desperate need of the families hit by these disasters. It’s been incredible and if you have given to any appeal then thank you. Yet it’s now, as the immediate shock has subsided, and the media has left and our attention turns to something else, that the need is greatest.

Agencies like Christian Aid are in it for the long haul whether it be a disaster situation, or long term development projects in communities completely ignored by the world’s press. Rebuilding countries, and lives, is a lengthy and delicate business but one to which we are committed.

1.5 million people are still living in makeshift shelters in Haiti, nearly half a million children are still facing malnutrition in Niger, and tens of thousands of people in Pakistan have seen their whole lives washed away. Please don’t forget them.

The Constructive Use of Discontent

I’m a bit of a ranter. I’m fairly laid back in general, I don’t get angry with people at all, in fact I hate confrontation! Yet, get me on something that hits a nerve and I provide an impressive rant. There are a few topics which spark this kind of reaction; anything to do with poverty, inequality and development, the future of the church, and the lack of dairy free cheese that melts on toast.

In general I get pretty wound up when I see what’s really going on in the world, the majority of human beings who live with so little, women who don’t stand a chance, children with no options. Add my ability to rant at will on such topics, with an unsettled urgency to change the world – and I find myself with a tangible feeling of discontent.
I was asking my friends recently whether this was something I was afflicted with forever, or whether I’d grow out of it and chill out. Our discussion could be summed up like this: ‘look at the world, and look at what God wanted for us. I don’t think we can be anything but discontent.’

The constructive use of discontent is an ongoing challenge for me; between rants I aim to ensure my actions reflect my words and trying to balance dissatisfaction with hope is sometimes a struggle. Oscar Romero used a phrase that I cherish; ‘my soul aches’. He was talking of his people in El Salvador, persecuted, poor and oppressed. I think my soul aches, and honestly it’s a bit tiring. But I think it’s supposed to. Seeking the Kingdom of God doesn’t come cushioned.

Improvement eclipsed by numbers

I read something this week talking about the surprise a particular writer finds each time she observes a community acting like they ‘still believe in each other and their possibilities’. That phrase hit home with me. I get accused every so often of being an idealist, even a bit naïve. Actually I take it as a compliment and a challenge! It is sad that optimism and belief in people comes as such a surprise, and I have to confess that even with my naïve idealism I have been guilty of writing people off or sometimes possessing an unhealthy amount of cynicism.

In the same magazine I read another article about the history of economic progress and came across the idea that ‘improvement has been eclipsed by numbers’. For example, what society once strived for was a better standard of life for people, and some would argue that this has become an exercise in reaching higher targets, accumulating more wealth and shrinking human experience and need into statistics.

These two phrases – believing in each other and human possibilities, alongside the idea that improvement has been eclipsed by numbers led me to think about the church. (I need to get out more.)

The Christian church teaches that people are full of potential and that as community we can open up endless opportunities, we can do big things and be loving world changing people. Yet in our heartfelt need to keep our traditions alive we’ve been occasionally guilty of striving for numbers rather than putting our focus on improving the way we engage with the Kingdom of God and the people made in His image.

God doesn’t need us to package Him inoffensively, give him a gloss and market him strategically. I truly believe becoming Kingdom focussed involves equipping each other to serve and stand up for those who are left out in the cold. I don’t think we need to worry too much about that putting people off!

I have seen how churches who have chosen to be outward looking first have found that with such a prophetic calling their congregations have been set alight to realise countless possibilities. And it’s hard to ignore that people with a purpose attract people. I wonder if it’s time we just get on with loving each other...

Just as I was putting myself back together...

... I'm going to Palestine and Israel. In November I'm off on a study tour to hear some real stories and learn as much as I can about the issues facing that region. I'm going off my own back (no beach holidays for me, oh no siree) and as part of the deal those travelling are asked to consider whether they want to raise extra funds to donate directly to the projects we will visit.

I ummed and ahhed for quite a while, as I'm generally an advocate for trusting NGOs to distribute funds as they see fit as they work with partner organisations who know exactly what's needed for long term, sustainable change. However, I read through the organisations we're visiting, and I believe that they tick my boxes - far from throwing money at issues, they appear to be tackling root causes of oppression and are established in what they do and how they are run.

Therefore, I'm going to unashamedly ask that if you would like to give money to any of the projects detailed below then please do! There's no JustGiving page alas, instead you can donate to Thursdays in Black and I'll get the funds (you're going to have to trust me) to the right place. The paypal button is on the right of this page, email or facebook me telling me where you want the money to go. Alternatively you can send me a cheque or an IOU. Email me at laura.e.mcadam@gmail.com. Or slip me some cash when you next see me, just include a note for what it's for or I'll assume you think I need some new shoes.

So here are some of the organisations I'll be visiting:

Israeli Committee Against House Demolitions (ICAHD)
ICAHD is a non violent, direct action group originally established in 1997 to oppose and resist Israeli demolition of Palestinian houses in the Occupied Territories. It has expanded into actively resisting land expropriation, settlement expansion, Israeli-only road construction, policies of 'closure' and 'separation', and the uprooting of fruit and olive trees. Activities include resisting the demolition of Palestinian houses, rebuilding Palestinian homes as an act of political resistance, disseminating information and networking, running an alternative tour programme that explains the 'Matrix of Control' over the Palestinian people, providing strategic and practical support to Palestinian people and families. http://www.icahd.org/

Donations go towards core funding to keep ICAHD operating, providing analysis about the requirements for a just peace for all people groups based on international law and universal human rights.

Women in Black (i'm very very excited about this - they are one of the root movements that inspired Thursdays in Black)
Women in Black began in 1988 in Jerusalem and has grown into a world-wide network of women committed to peace with justice and actively opposed to injustice, war, militarism and other forms of violence. Weekly actions often take the form of women wearing black, standing in a public place in silent, non-violent vigils at regular times and intervals, carrying placards and handing out leaflets. Wearing black in some cultures signifies mourning, and feminist actions dressed in black convert women’s traditional passive mourning for the dead in war into a powerful refusal of the logic of war. http://www.coalitionofwomen.org/

Holy Land Trust
The Trust is a non-profit organization that was established in Bethlehem in 1998. It seeks to empower the community with spiritual, pragmatic and strategic approaches to resist all forms of oppression and engage the same community in making the Holy Land a global model and pillar of understanding, respect, justice, equality and peaceful coexistence. http://www.holylandtrust.org/

Donations go towards their Palestinian leadership development programme.

Christian Peacemakers Team (CPT) Hebron
CPT offers an organized, non violent alternative to war and other forms of lethal inter-group conflict. Since 1995, the team in Hebron has provided a violence reduction presence with street patrol, responding to trouble and staying with people in tense times and places. It also supports Israeli and Palestinian peacemakers in their work. http://www.cpt.org/

Donations go towards the expenses of keeping a team based in Hebron.

Combatants for Peace
This movement was started jointly by Israelis and Palestinians who have taken an active part in the cycle of violence. They believe only by joining forces will they be able to end bloodshed bringing an end to the occupation and the oppression of the Palestinian people. They organize meetings between both Israeli and Palestinian veterans in which both sides talk about their participation in violent actions and how they came to the turning point which led them to understand the limits of violence. Amongst many joint projects which they have set up, they seek to educate others towards non-violence. http://www.combatantsforpeace.org/

Donations go towards their project in the South Hebron Hills. Combatants for Peace visit Palestinian farmers on a weekly basis and offer assistance against the activities of settlers who threaten their livelihoods.

Dheisheh Refugee Camp
UNRWA's Dheisheh Refugee Camp was founded in 1949 within the municipal boundaries of Bethlehem. The camp's original 3,400 refugees came from 45 villages in the western Jerusalem and western Hebron areas. During the 2nd Intifada the inhabitants were badly affected with incursions by the IDF which continue until today. There are over 13,000 people now living at the camp under difficult conditions with lack of sufficient schooling and medical facilities, water scarcity, and with narrow alleyways winding between a hodgepodge of cement buildings.

Bethlehem University
The University was founded in 1973 by the Catholic De La Salle brothers and offers a broad education in the arts and sciences for over 3000 students. It is a vibrant, academic community and promotes inter-religious and cultural understanding, international cooperation, justice and peace. The Separation Wall built around Bethlehem together with numerous checkpoints and 'The Terminal' at the city's entrance makes attendance at the University very difficult. http://www.bethlehem.edu/

Donations go towards the university fees of a specific student identified by the university.

Something new to strive for

I am one of those people that always needs to be doing something. I can’t watch TV without my laptop going, or walk without listening to music, or drive without preparing a talk in my head! I am learning, mostly the hard way, that sometime soon I should really try and implement some kind of strategy for stillness.

I talk a lot of the urgency of what we do for others, the drive to give all we can to change things, to be outward looking as a matter of importance. And I stand by all that! But the danger of not stopping once in a while is that you miss the whispers. You miss the glimpses of beauty all around. You miss the chance to know peace.

You’d think that in the poorest communities of the world they’d spend most of their time listing the needs they have, but in my experience it’s quite the opposite. In India recently a friend of mine spent the beginning of every one of our conversations listing the blessings of the day, including that he was about to talk with me! On one occasion he paused mid sentence and said ‘Laura – stop! Let’s just be still...’ We had a lot to do that day including discussing the problems faced by their community project, but in that moment of quiet I felt the pressure of the task replaced by calm perspective.

I’m trying to learn that resting does not let anyone down, instead it equips and prepares for what’s to come. I’m going to learn to listen for the quiet whispers and develop the art of stillness.

Just a snippet...

Is the floor in your home just dirt? Because if your floor is anything other than dirt, you’re in the top half of the world’s population.

I wonder if your home has a roof, a door, windows and more than one room? If it does, you fall into the top 20% of the world’s population. If you have a fridge – you’re in the top 5%.

And if you have a car, a microwave, DVD player, computer and your toilet has a door… you’re in the top 1% in the world.

For 99% of the world’s people life has no luxury, and a third of our world live in desperate poverty.

But poverty is not a statistic, it’s a person.

I couldn't say it better...

This is the PowerPoint I used today having spoken at Brentwood Baptist Church, the church from whence I came...

Click here (will take you away from this page, do come back...!)

Numbertastic

It feels like we live in a world of statistics sometimes doesn’t it?

Meaningless big numbers whether we’re talking debt and deficit or population or distance. Here’s some more big numbers: If we woke up today with more health than illness, we are more fortunate than one million people who will not survive the week.
If we have never been shot at, or imprisoned, or tortured, or starved, we are more fortunate than 500 million people in the world.

Recently I heard a wonderful way of making a certain statistic a bit more manageable:
A billion people live on less than a dollar a day, and two billion on less than $2 – that’s a third of the planet’s population. I know a billion is a big number – but do you know how big? If we counted to one million, at a rate of one number per second, it would take us 11 days.
With this in mind, how long do you think it would take us to count to 1 billion?
It’s actually 32 years. But if 10 of us do the counting – it’s only 3 yrs.
If 100 it’s about 4 months… and a 1000, brings the task to 11 days.
The seemingly impossibly big challenges can be cracked if a community of people say – together, in a loud, clear voice, enough – this must be done.

And this is what happens every year in Christian Aid Week, when a third of a million people – another enormous number – take to the streets to collect money house to house, and many, many more run coffee mornings, events, sponsored walks – all sorts of things that raise money and awareness for the work of Christian Aid and our vision to end, yes END, poverty. It’s a huge task, but one we’re undertaking together.

Live

So, what are you looking for? Happiness maybe? Relationships, respect, security?
It seems perfectly reasonable that we would search for such things and others, we understand that we have the right to live as whole human beings. Through my work and personal encounters I know that there are many people not even close to ticking off their list anything they are looking for. For the majority of the world, the poorest on our earth – they are ‘just’ about living.
Let me narrow the question – What are you looking for in church? Are your answers the same? And how are your needs met? My experience with churches suggests that for most people, including clergy, we’re not quite hitting the mark. For some churches and for many Christians, well - it sometimes feels like we are ‘just’ about getting by.
So here’s a thought, how about we all embark on just living. Living justly. It’s when we look beyond ourselves, as churches, as Christians, as human beings, that we start to embrace what this life has to offer us and each and every person on this planet. Justice should be a core part of what we do and who we are – not an add on extra once the church roof is fixed…!
Christian Aid allows us to live out our values in an astounding way; to visibly embark on just living through our prayers, actions, collections, events and support as we stand alongside those tackling poverty and injustice around the world. Everything we do for Christian Aid joins with a movement that is tackling the root causes of poverty and helping people of all faiths and backgrounds help themselves to a better life.
Let’s not just live. Let’s live justly.

Messiness

I grew up in the church and was a youth worker in various churches and denominations. I had a pretty tidy view of God; there were the answers I’d learnt mainly in Sunday School and Youth Group, and anything I couldn’t grasp I put down to my youth. Tidy.

The thing is that through my travels around the world and my work, I’ve been exposed to seeing the world as it is – a world of pain and suffering and struggle. So my once neat and tidy image of God no longer fits. Where is my God of love who saves us, where’s my gentle Jesus meek and mild? Now my image of God has no neat lines or easy answers. It is an image that challenges me and fills my world with more questions than I have answers. Messy.

Maybe it’s just my awkward character, but I’ve come to quite like that God isn’t that easy to put in a box. I like that my messy God understands my messy spirituality, which seems to reflect a messy world. But this untidy God hasn’t left us without any idea of how we should be. In the early 20th century George McLeod wrote this:

“I simply argue that the cross be raised again at the centre of the market place as well as on the steeple of the church. I am recovering the claim that Jesus was not crucified in a cathedral between two candles, but on a cross between two thieves, on the town garbage heap, at a crossroads so cosmopolitan that they had to write his title in Hebrew, Latin and Greek. It was the kind of place where cynics talk smut, thieves curse, and soldiers gamble. That’s where he died. And that’s where Christians ought to be and what Christians ought to be about.”
That quote reminds me that if we shy away from the frontline, if we’re too comfortable, we become ineffective. Being tidy about our faith and our mission might well be the easy option, but it’s when we get messy that we start getting the job done.

Fresh Expressions

This week I got back to blogging, but not on my blog...

Fresh Expressions Share the Guide Guest Blog

Provoked a response much?

I'd like to give my last post some context and explanation, particularly for those who fear I'm having a panicked meltdown...

I'm not panicked. I'm quietly unsettled. There are a few reasons why.

When I was 12 I stopped going to school, and never really went back. I didn't know it til years after I recovered, but I had ME (also know as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). How I managed to get some qualification and get where I am today is another story, the point I'm making here is that for about 5 years I could barely do anything, hardly take part in life and was fearfully aware that I might never get better. The life I pictured for myself drifted between 'the plan' (see previous post), and weeks spent in bed as an observer to the real world.

Today I don't take much for granted - or at least I try not to. I have to be a little careful and I know when my body and mind has had enough, and I have bad days occasionally. But all in all, I have it bloody good.

So, there is certainly an element of making up for lost time, and making the most of every bit of time I have to come.

There is another reason though.

I've seen some outrageous stuff, and heard some appalling stories. I can't sit still. I can't.

Not only is my life privileged, but I am unsettled because my soul has been shaken with anger and sadness. Time is a privilege, as is having the multitude of choices before me. Life is precious and I want to live mine with gratitude and to its fullest. My soul is determined there is a better world up for grabs and surely choosing to be part of building it is what truly makes you alive?

I am hard on myself - and that's something I concede that I need to work on.

But don't expect me to 'chill out' anytime soon. I will search for some peace and rest, and some balance even. But my soul will continue to be unsettled.

Thus far

I've not blogged for a while, because there was an earthquake... and then a fire... my brother embarked on an unexpected candle making venture the results of which have left my house fragrant... and a few other interesting happenings that have until now, left my brain unable to form any thoughts suitable for blogging consumption.

I had a feeling that 2010 would somehow be significant, I'm just panicked by the speed at which it is flying by.

I know I'm not the only one who has done this, but I've always had 'the life plan' - the one where you know what age you expect to be married, have babies, settle into a career... This year, was the year where I had to let go of the plan. And may I add, willingly. I hadn't realised I still held on to it (I was supposed to be married at 24/25, career gently moving forward in a settled way from aged 25, and the rest followed) but when I turned 25 last week I felt some burden of expectation disappear! Odd.

Now, I'm aware that I can trundle along comfortably whilst complaining that life is going too fast, or .. something else. Challenge myself maybe, possibly put a bit of effort into making life interesting. Being brave enough to put myself out there - my confidence can longer lie in being 'remarkably young to be doing what I'm doing', it has to be in being good at it.

Also, I think I should probably try to go on holiday some time.

Genes of a model no less!

I am a hoarder. I am one of those people with an odd compulsion to keep bits and pieces of no value on the off chance that I'll find them in years to come and a number of fond memories might be jogged. I like the idea that my hypothetical grandchildren would find it interesting to see a cinema ticket from a viewing of Titanic, or photos of me in times of questionable fashion sense...

Over Christmas my family looked through some old holiday slides belonging to my great uncle. It turns our my great grandmother was a model (of sorts...)! I love seeing and hearing about people's lives particularly if they relate to mine! However, it also brought home that one day today will be an antiquated slide show.

So what do I want in my memory box this year, and what kind of life do I want to be up in lights for my ancestors to chuckle over?

I'm pleased that I can look back over recent years and find something significant in each one. But so often the memories created are provided by coincidence, circumstance, context. But what if this year brings no accidental occasion of note? I've already said 'I can't believe this week's gone so fast' a number of times this year and 2010 has barely begun... am I really in danger of letting this year pass me by with no ticks on my life's wish list?

If this year had a theme, I think I'd like it to be 'purposeful memory making'.

(And if you're wondering, no - I have no idea where to start... but intention is half the battle, right?)

Twenty ten is so much easier to say...

... than two-thousand-and-nine. Small things...!

I know I'm not the only one who thought 'great, some time off. I'm going to this list of things I've been meaning/wanting to do for ages!'.

Christmas Break To Do List

1) Clean the house = We did it by gum, had people round, ate and lived in it... and it's getting all dirty again...

2) Read a fiction book = I glanced at my nan's Daily Mail...?

3) Give some proper thought to how Thursdays in Black should move forward = Purchased some new black tights...

4) Put thoughts to laptop for important Nightchurch meetings this week = Made a Facebook event for one of the meetings...

5) Spend all my Christmas money = TICK and a little bit more...

I'm not sure where the time's gone, but I do feel rested and actually - I'm not going to feel bad about that (see how I've grown!).

New Year's Resolutions

1) Use the car much less
2) Make fewer excuses
3) Write fewer lists and make them shorter
4) Keep the house tidy
5) Write a new script

Happy 2010 :-)