Happy *cough* New Year *sneeze*

It was inevitable; take a few days extra leave and get the lurgy.  I've basically been in bed since Boxing Day save spluttering my way through NYE and some family lunches.  Anyone who knows me knows that January is my nemesis; a dreaded weak spot in my year where I panic about getting older and wasting my life away...  yeah I'm just a fun machine.

So to be ill during precious time off as well as the first week of the new year is horrifying.  However I've not yet plunged into despair, maybe I'm more focused on trying to breathe through my nose, but maybe I've just grown up a bit.  Watch this space...

Now to the list I made 14 weeks ago...

1. write 14 writings - 3. ahem.

2. run 100 miles total. 0. it's been cold.

3. sell 14 items on Ebay. 0. but i'm on it this week...

4. make 14 homemade presents. . 14 different items, but multiples make over 30

5. read 14 books. 6. Books are long.

6. cycle 100 miles total. 37. roads are long.

7. try 14 new recipes. 25, many doubled up as presents

8. write 14 blog posts. 10. (that's right, not all on this blog...)

9. go to the beach 14 times. 10. it's cold.

10. play the cello 14 times. 0

11. wear high heels 14 times. 8

12. read 100 pages of the Bible. 60

13. do 100 sit ups. 0

14. encourage 14 people. Not sure... probably 2 or 3 realistically?

Not my most resounding success list wise, but I'm not too bothered.  I was glad to have a prompt to take me out of the winter lethargy,  and if 'watch far too many series on Netflix' was on there I'd have nailed it.

It wouldn't be me without another list to focus on, on top of my bucket list of course.  Here's my to do list before my birthday in 6 weeks:

1. go Gluten Free for a trial month
2. cycle 50 miles
3. read 2 books
4. declutter clothes

Yes, just the four.  Realism is appropriate for the January blues.

Off to splutter my way back to health ready to take on 2016.  Fingers crossed.

Stories

Right through Advent, Christians are revisiting the Holy Scripture, listening again to the words of the prophets in the Old Testament who foretold of some new initiative God would take, listening again to the humble existence of Mary, listening again to the beautiful story of incarnation- the word of God became flesh in Jesus.

Interestingly, the story of Jesus’ birth is only told largely in one of the gospels, Matthew tells us about the Wise men, but Mark and John don’t mention it at all! If Luke hadn’t recorded it, we may never have known what the first Christmas looked like, who was there. Imagine a world without nativity plays!

The richness and security of our cultures across the world depend so much on storytelling - it’s the miracle of dialogue and understanding.

We have our own stories, I’m sure most of our lives have had twists and turns, surprises, ups and downs. They would undoubtedly involve changes in situation and in ourselves. Ideas and opinions will have altered, aspirations may have developed, certainties possibly challenged. As well as the stories of our selves, there are the important stories we would tell - I wonder, if we were to write a gospel now, what it would it be like.

What good news do we have to share? What would be the message we would want to challenge our readers with? How would we want future generations to remember this period of time and all that is happening within it?

The hope that the gospel I will write will speak of a people of love, a global connected community who stood up to injustice, activist and peace makers, the brave outspoken and quiet healers. I’ll write at length of the church as it awoke called to action, stirred by the insults to the Kingdom they saw all around them. I will put in writing the way that freedom came when normal, ordinary people realised that not only did they have the power to be world changers, they had not choice to do otherwise. That’s good news. And it’s half written in our history already as movements of justice and love gain pace.

Stories are being written all around the world. We have our own gospels to write. What will be in yours?

Probably a little out of season now but hey

So, it’s almost here. The Christmas season is upon us accompanied by snow, the decorations are out (and have been since September!) and everywhere there are children preparing for their nativity plays at school and church. The Christmas Story is surely one of the best known in the world and is re-enacted in such beautiful ways every year (despite the baffling additions of fire dancers and cowboys these days in some school productions!). The beauty and tranquillity of that peaceful stable scene in Bethlehem still manages to draw us in and bring a tear to even the wisest old eye.

But I walked the streets of Bethlehem just a couple of weeks ago and, I have to say, the Holy City seemed a million miles away from the sentimental nativity scene we all grew up with. I stood by the huge concrete separation barrier which cuts the area into dead, soulless ghettos, I spoke to inn keepers and shop keepers who are slowly getting back on their feet, I realised that the Wise Men from the East would never have made it to the manger without digging a tunnel…

I was allowed to travel freely throughout the region on my British Passport but I met Palestinian Christians who had never travelled to the holy sites or Jerusalem, just 20 minutes away from their homes in Bethlehem, because they were not permitted through the check points without an expensive permit. I met the refugees who have been waiting, some for over 60 years, to return to their homes. They still have their keys.

And I began to see that Bethlehem today is in fact much closer to the first Christmas than our romantic carols and nativity plays portray. The fact is that Jesus was born a Palestinian Jew under military occupation, the only reason Mary and Joseph were in Bethlehem at all that night was because the Roman Empire were reviewing its oppressive tax system and trying to control the masses. His family had to flee as refugees soon after his birth and he grew up watching those in power abuse the weak and dispossess them of their property and their dignity. It was in this harsh reality that Jesus preached and practised non-violent resistance against a ruthless and oppressive empire. He demonstrated the fragility and value of every human being, audaciously crossing the boundaries of states and culture to unite and transform the world he loved. He revealed the character of God by living a life of sacrificial love and he gave his life to that cause…

and that is why we still call it The Holy Land.

Many thanks to Martin Nicholls who often has a hand in the Pause for Thoughts, and this one in particular has his fingerprints all over it!

I should be cleaning the house...

... as it's Christmas eve tomorrow and don't want to come back from seeing family to a mucky home. And yet, I'm sitting writing emails and watching TV while feeling a bit sleepy.

I have to confess that beyond practical arrangements, family logistics and some impressive forward planning in the present department, I've let Christmas go over my head a little.
Is it just me, or is it that because Christmas happens on a regular basis and is just one of those things you know about, it never really occurs to give it a fresh look instead focusing on the messages of hope, peace and new beginnings. Bit of a cop out?


This year has been a time of honesty and the beginning of an awakening for me. I'm tired, and I want to curl up and eat too much. I could try and focus on all of the lovely themes of Christmas, but the way I'm feeling now means I really don't think it would be all that authentic. The choice is this: coast for another Christmas and survive out the year, or rid myself of any falseness and decide to be deliberate in all I do... and feel.

Christmas is also about light shining in a dark world. I think I'll try my best to have a mental tidy up over the next few days, shine a light into the dark areas of my mind, take a fresh look at this Christmas lark and come back to a new start. I'm going to go and clean the house too.

Merry Christmas x