Keeping Up Appearances

My Live Below the Line shop

Time for a check in.  I've neglected finishing my Live Below the Line Blog following my five day stint eating on £1 a day, because honestly it got under my skin a bit.

Life has changed a lot since Christmas having gone part time, and taking on the challenge reminded me that although life is less comfortable than it was it is nothing compared to those closer to and below the poverty line.  I've gone from worried and burdened to counting my blessings.  It has been genuinely healthy to have to think about what is essential, what I can live without, what nonsense I comfort eat and what I needlessly buy off the internet when I'm a bit low...

Please don't get me wrong - I am truly blessed to have so much, a roof over my head and money to pay bills, dogs I can feed, a family to keep me secure and more than plenty compared to the majority of the world.  Having less has made me realise this more starkly than when I had more.  While disposable income is amazing and offers loads of wonderful opportunities, it doesn't automatically make us free.  Stripping back and considering carefully where each penny goes is a helpful exercise in prioritising.

For a few months I confess, I filled my new found empty time with moping, sleeping and feeling sorry for myself.  All those plans to move forward and take control seemed like something to do tomorrow.  But as sometimes happens, recently life intervened and helped me out and having said wistfully; 'ideally I'd like to do a few shifts a week at a lovely friendly independent coffee shop ... or something.' I got a job at a lovely friendly independent coffee shop in town.  A month and four shifts later and I feel like it has saved me a little.

I love that I'm not near a computer on those days and I love being active and busy, and I love the ethos of person centered service, where offering time and attention is as important as whatever else you're serving.  But what I really love is being reminded in yet another job that showing people that they are valued and important and listened to is sometimes very simple, and can even be achieved by someone as hopeless as me.  That's got under my skin too.

The clouds still threaten to get darker and some days are harder than others.  I'm not a ray of sunshine and I get discouraged and grumpy and scared.  I'm still a big mess of brokenness.


But I'm ok.  Hope is not found in being comfortable, it is in letting the discomfort show you what is important.  Because I have to be more deliberate about life, the more I cherish it.  Simplicity is freeing and it's not that hard to spread smiles even when you feel empty.

So I'm ok.  Not because life got easier, but because it being difficult is teaching me to find hope.





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