The black thing again

When I visited Christian Aid projects in India I met some of the most fearsome women imaginable! These were women who had been empowered to fight for their rights, stand up to corruption and tackle the culture of inequality that keeps women oppressed.

I had the privilege of meeting staff of women’s organisations that were focussed on helping women out of dangerous situations and offering education and support to girls to provide them with the many opportunities they deserve.

On one particular day I sat in a tiny room with an interpreter and one by one, men, women, parents and children told me of their experiences. Some, like Gina, had saved their mothers from neglect. Others like Reema, had been forced into marriage at the age of 13 and been abused and denied education. Others like Ramesh, watched their daughter become trapped in a vicious cycle of domestic violence. I heard some appalling stories that day. I cried with parents as they asked me to make sure it doesn’t happed to anyone else’s children. I got angry with the staff who are fearlessly tackling the corruption and culture that means that most of these atrocities are swept under the carpet.

I came back from India changed and a bit broken. Yet I have a confession… I knew that unless I made an effort, everything I felt in India would fade as I readjusted to my comfortable life. I decided I wanted to stay a bit broken, so I joined the growing movement of people who wear black on Thursdays as a peaceful protest and a symbol of solidarity with all those fighting and affected by gender based inequality and violence. I’ve not missed a Thursday yet, and it has connected me with those who showed me just how uncomfortable I should feel with the way the world is for far too many people.

Something new to strive for

I am one of those people that always needs to be doing something. I can’t watch TV without my laptop going, or walk without listening to music, or drive without preparing a talk in my head! I am learning, mostly the hard way, that sometime soon I should really try and implement some kind of strategy for stillness.

I talk a lot of the urgency of what we do for others, the drive to give all we can to change things, to be outward looking as a matter of importance. And I stand by all that! But the danger of not stopping once in a while is that you miss the whispers. You miss the glimpses of beauty all around. You miss the chance to know peace.

You’d think that in the poorest communities of the world they’d spend most of their time listing the needs they have, but in my experience it’s quite the opposite. In India recently a friend of mine spent the beginning of every one of our conversations listing the blessings of the day, including that he was about to talk with me! On one occasion he paused mid sentence and said ‘Laura – stop! Let’s just be still...’ We had a lot to do that day including discussing the problems faced by their community project, but in that moment of quiet I felt the pressure of the task replaced by calm perspective.

I’m trying to learn that resting does not let anyone down, instead it equips and prepares for what’s to come. I’m going to learn to listen for the quiet whispers and develop the art of stillness.

Unveiled

I walked into an urban slum in India surrounded by the stench of sewage and rubbish through the tiny brick and mud homes, and into a large community hall.

In front of me sat a hundred or so Indian women singing and smiling at me. I knew that four years ago one of the partner organisations funded and supported by Christian Aid was invited by this community to help them from the brink of extreme poverty. As with so many other groups, these people had been excluded from wider society, ignored by the authorities and were plagued by domestic violence. When our partners first visited the women didn't come out of their homes and they wore sheer veils covering their heads - simply as a barrier to the outside world and everyone in it.

I was astonished to sit in front of this group of smiling, unveiled women as they told me what they'd acheived. Our partner had helped both men and women to raise the status of girls and women to have equal standing. For the first time these women believed that they had a big part to play in bringing their community out of poverty, and that they were equal and worthwhile human beings. The men saw too that they needed the women to become economically active.

The women told me how with a loan from us which they've now paid back, they have formed money lending group to help small businesses start and about the training courses they've undertaken to learn new skills including literacy. They told me how the women took off their veils and stood alongside their men to face the world. They told me how their unity was their strength and how they fearlessly take on the authorities to provide their basic rights like clean water and primary education. They told me how they rally and picket the police when they know corruption has taken place, and how they work with families to eradicate domestic violence in their community.

In front of me where the faces changing India from the roots, and they're doing it themselves. All they needed was to be told it was time take off their veils.

My Bracelet

Visiting overseas projects with Christian Aid can sometimes be a bit embarrassing as they tend to give you presents even though they themselves have so little.

I was leaving a women's rights project in Northern India when they presented me with a number of gifts simply for giving them some of my time to hear their stories. One of them was a plastic red bracelet and as I sat in the back of a car on the to the station with a few of the project's ladies I explained to them that my wrist was unfortunately too big to wear such petite jewellery. They suddenly grabbed my hand while simultaneously producing some sort of cream and the next thing I knew my hand was contorted in a way it probably was never meant to be and I had a bracelet on my wrist which I was fairly sure would never come off again.

After my hand recovered and I had spent a few days with the bracelet annoying me, particularly as I tried to sleep with it on, I returned to the UK. For many many months after I returned from India I wore the same red plastic bracelet on my right wrist. Most of the time I didn't notice it but occasionally it niggled at me. I kept it on for two reasons (other than at the time it appeared to be indestructible). Firstly it reminded me of the strong women I met in India who are working to change the position of women in their country and bring themselves out of some of the most extreme cases of poverty in the world. And secondly, it was annoying. Unfortunately I still needed something tangible to remind me that for the majority of the world life is more than simply uncomfortable, that if I get too comfortable then I become ineffective and I lose touch with not only my calling as a Christian but my responsibility as a human.

The bracelet eventually broke, but I still have it. It sits in my room, I see it every day and it still niggles at me. And I'll keep it in view as long as I still need reminding.

More than a fashion choice

Across the UK, people from all walks of life will make a stand against gender-based discrimination and violence worldwide simply by choosing to wear black on Thursday 25^th June.

Of the 1.3 billion people living in poverty around the world, 70% are women

Ever since I visited India last year to meet partner organisations and beneficiaries of the work of Christian Aid, I have worn black on Thursdays along with the thousands of people – men and women – across the world who want to stand alongside those who have suffered from gender-based violence or injustice and those who are fighting for a fairer world for all.

Women do two-thirds of the world’s work and get paid less than 10% of its income

Now we are launching a Thursday in Black day encouraging everyone who wants to be part of this solidarity movement simply to wear black on Thursday 25^th June 2009.

More than half of women in the world over the age of 15 cannot read or write

If you want to take it further you can join the movement by visiting www.thursdaysinblack.ning.com , joining our Facebook group, following us on Twitter or just by commenting on my blog!

Violence causes more death and disability worldwide amongst women

aged 15 – 44 than war, cancer, malaria or traffic accidents.

If you want to give money to Christian Aid who are working around the world for justice and equality you can donate using our ‘Living Costs’ card as a help, available by emailing me or from the Facebook and ning sites.

‘Gender equality is critical to the development and peace of every nation.’ (Kofi Annan)

Thursdays in Black is an international campaign that has historically united people who believe in the fundamental importance of respecting all human life without discrimination. As a human rights campaign, it was started by the World Council of Churches during the 1980s as a peaceful protest against rape and violence - the by-products of war and conflict. The campaign today focuses on ways that individuals can challenge attitudes that cause discrimination, inequality and violence.

Please spread the word, make a stand against a world that will allow the human rights of women to be abused and threatened, and become part of a worldwide movement which enables outrage - and love - to be transformed into action.