He did not just say what I think he just said... oh yes he did...

There's no chance of me getting complacent in my work, and not just because of the state of the world, but because people never cease to amaze.

I was doing a presentation with a young chap who'd come back from Asia recently and wanted to share his photos and experiences. I'd been asked to add to his thoughts and inspire some new supporters. He threw some odd asides during his slideshow - 'there's one of the locals just watching us work, that happened a lot...' and listing lots of depressing facts about the poverty he'd seen. I didn't worry - I was there to give the wider context and the hope element. He went over time and I had to choose whether to move on, or fill for five minutes before the break. He'd originally wanted to do a Q&A so I didn't think there'd be too much problem asking him a few questions on the spot.

So I asked what the hardest thing about his visit was, (totally seriously:)'doing my own washing.'
And what will change now he's back after such an eye opening experience? 'Nothing. I was really into raising money for charities before I went, but now I've seen the rich and the poor... I really don't think I will. Sorry.'

Sense the change in atmosphere in the room...

(Voice in My Head: 'Maybe I'm the only one who picked up what he actually ... no everyone got it... do I just go straight to the break... no that would be a cop out... I'm gonna have to say something... like what?! It's now been five seconds... speak Laura... they're looking at you in expectant shock ... SPEAK'

I said something about how it's great and important that we are reminded how complex poverty is, and how we shouldn't be afraid to struggle. I told them how when I came back from Uganda I seriously struggled to get motivated and find the hope in what I did. Many of us have been plugging away for years, and how has the world changed? For every small victory there seems to be another set of challenges... why do we bother?

(Voice in my Head: 'I really hope you're going somewhere with this...')

We bother because when you've seen the world as it really is, you have a choice: to do nothing, or do something. And the compassion and righteous anger planted in us simply means we cannot stand by and shrug our shoulders.

Yes, there are lazy people in the developing world - there are lazy people here too. Yes there is corruption in poor countries - ... who are we to speak on that one?! And we could give up. But there are millions of people who don't have that option - who get up every day despite the odds and bloody well get on with it.

Or words to that effect.

I am so grateful to my young friend for throwing the cat amongst the pigeons and frankly - saying what everyone was probably thinking. Let's not keep pretending with some kind of unrealistic niceness that we can pat ourselves on the back and keep smiling. We should be confused about the state of the world - it's confusing. And we should be downright angry too, and struggling.

And sometimes we just have to cling on to that scrap of hope. That's the most profound act of solidarity I can think of.

A Quote

"Our lives begin to end when we fail to speak out against the things that really matter."
Martin Luther King Jnr

A Quote

"I think that we have greatly deformed the gospel. We have tried to live a very comfortable gospel, without committing ourselves, merely being pious, having a gospel that we are content with."

Oscar Romero, June 19th 1977

The Silent War

Officially, 6.7% of Uganda's population are HIV positive, but the truth is that only about 20% of the population has been tested. Also, the number of people testing positive is increasing, and the virus is spreading after an astounding decline which meant Uganda was previously the HIV success story.

Issues of foreign aid and education aside, it's the attitude of some Ugandans towards HIV which is terrifying. In a polygamous culture, the attitude of men towards sex is more than casual with one myth being that 'You are not a man if you do not die of AIDS'. Whereas the fear caused by the initial outbreak and education about HIV caused a change in behaviours, with the widespread availability of ARVs and the many people living into relative old age (their 40s and 50s) with HIV an attitude of nonchalance has emerged. One girl demonstrated the 'live for today' posture by saying 'I'd rather get AIDS than get pregnant'.

With rape, prostitution, and men offering school fees and money for food in exchange for sex, alongside polygamy, adultery and drug use... HIV is again bringing Uganda to its knees.

I was told 'The problem is not education - it is everywhere, on the radio, TV, papers and so on. The problem is ignorance.'

The Key is Education

When I spoke to students in Northern Uganda the girls in particular gave me such hope. To my shame, I was surprised at how 'Western' their thinking was and was impressed at their stance on education and marriage. However, it's worth noting that the students at Ushindi are fee paying and the fact that they are at Secondary School puts them into a particular group of society who are able to think beyond their own village.

I have no lesson to share in this blog post, I simply want to have the following noted.

'Education is a god' I was told more than once. Although the government provide teachers at state schools, education costs. And I mean more than money.

Many girls are promised their school fees from wealthy men in their community. Apparently there was one man who on his death bed confessed that he had infected 50 students at the local school plus at least 50 local women with HIV in exchange for school fees or money for their family. It's unlikely that he paid up in all these cases.

One neighbour shared with me 'If a girl says to her friend, I need money for this or that, her friend will say 'there is a secret, you must get yourself a boyfriend or better a sugar daddy, and you will be happy ... girls share a man who will pay. Three, four maybe ten will have the same sugar daddy.'

Everyone told me that education was the key to ending poverty, and I can't say I realy disagree. But does the price really have to be this high?

An HIV nurse said this 'One girl on the Ssese Islands was raped. She consented but I call it rape - she was 13. The price? A pencil.'

The Things We Put Up With

I have a terrible condition. I can not eat cheese. I'm lactose intolerant.

The thing is, I've always been proud of not being a fussy eater and I resent that I have to ask for special treatment if I am invited for meals, so I tend to stay quiet and enjoy the rare treat (which is certainly not a treat after about an hour). I had a meal with a family and had all three courses all packed with dairy, and I spent the afternoon very very quietly before being able to see straight enough to drive home! I'd much rather not make a fuss, even though it harms me and I'm told that long term it's really not sensible to keep 'cheating'.

The Lugbara people in Uganda have a saying; 'Peace at all costs'. The thought of causing offence is enough for them to never confront or question, and my parents faced this during their time as teachers in Arua. Suggesting improvements, asking why the current systems are in place, questioning statements which are actually wrong... some of the perils of Lugbaran management. And here lies one reason why many of the structures in place have barely changed since their introduction, why interaction with the global community still leaves Uganda on the back foot and why everything happens so very slowly!

This isn't simply a topic relevant to Uganda, I've faced it this week in Nightchurch. The choice is to stay quiet and go with the flow, enjoying the peace but suffering later, or to cause a fuss, risk offence and work to keep healthy.

Easier said than done? I do really like cheese...

The People I Admire

I was able to have some great conversations with students in Uganda, and they had plenty of questions for me too. Music is a huge business in Africa, with the African-American artists dominating the industry. President Obama is the other big celeb for obvious reasons, even in the most remote areas you can find Obama calendars adorning the walls! I had a good think about who I admire, whose calendar I'd want on my wall (I actually have an Exmouth Shanty Men calendar in the downstairs loo, but that's a whole different story).

Having met the Archbishop of Canterbury I have a lot of time for him (I'm sure he'll be pleased to hear that), he has an exceptionally difficult job and a lot of humility.
Oscar Romero whose quotes will most certainly be popping on here in the future was the Archbishop of San Salvador and an outspoken activist before his assassination in March 1980.
I'm a bit of a fan of Steve Chalke having been an Oasis gap year student, but I mostly admire him for shaking up the evangelical church in dramatic fashion, being a risk taker and pioneer. He is now an advisor for the UN on the issue of people trafficking.
I would love to be more like CJ of the West Wing (pictured), she's an amazing package of intelligence, strong femininity and leadership.
Nelson Mandela is a bit obvious but needs to in my list, as does Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

I have met so many incredible people in my travels, Semeda Steves - Christian Aid Staff in Delhi and Kathleen Burns - nurse in Uganda with AIM are two people whose influence will stay with me. And there are many others who have no website and some whose names I never knew who I admire and continue to inspire me.